You'd think at some level that would go without saying. However there is a lot of outrage over the new movie "Observe and Report" and it's date rape scene. Feministing has addressed it twice now, the first time regarding the scene itself and the second time regarding the backlash.
Of course there are a few things wrong with this. Part of it is the idea of a date rape scene in a comedy, and part of it is the fact that a lot of the backlash is centering on insulting the women mad at it.
It's the typical response to something like this, that women who are mad about this kind of thing are ugly bitches, angry man hating feminists, or so ugly that being raped would be a compliment (my personal fav, usually delivered by a 250 lb man who lives with his mommy).
What really worries me is that most of the people making the comments above don't understand the argument at all. They are yelling about how feminists don't have a sense of humor, instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, the fact that a date rape scene is being played as funny is wrong.
Rape is already viewed as almost a joke in the US, a "she deserved it" kind of thing that places little responsibility on the man who does the assault (one of the arguments for why the scene was funny is because the female character deserved to be raped because she passed out in the presense of this man. That is an argument tailored to piss off most women). The idea that a rape is being shown in a comedic light is pretty awful, because it re-enforces what these men already think, rape is funny.
Women are threatened with rape, women are raped, and it happens all the time. These men can laugh it off, but for women it's real. It's a problem that people don't address people the woman raped deserved it and the man just couldn't control it. And as long as that goes on, date rape in comedies isn't funny. No matter how dark the comedy, it shouldn't be handled as funny.
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Quiverfull Part II
So, I am now almost done Quiverfull, and an interesting point has struck me.
This movement of male domination within churches actually started to draw men back to church. The various Christian evangelical movements needed men in the pews, so they used the Bible to give men what they wanted, an almost porn senario, where your wife can never say no to anything you do and must constantly do anything you say. You have free access to everything, her mind and her body, and you get to control it all.
That kind of domination being offered within these churches will attact a certain kind of man, one who is prone to abusing women. When the women are then abused at home, they are abused by their church, who tells them what their abuser told them, it's all their fault they are being hit/raped/or otherwise injured. It is a circle of abuse that surrounds these women.
Then they have children, and then children are abused. The girls are raised to accept abusive behavior as normal and accepted. The boys are taught that it is expected that they take charge of their families in anyway possible. Instead of just one family doing this though, it is whole churches, and they are raising many many children to perpetuate this system.
The women in this system are dehumanized. They are reduced to a vagina. They are only there to give birth as many times as possible and to submit to their husband.
Interestingly, the language used within these churches is exactly the same as language used is DS/SM porn. It is the same system, just one admits what it is and the other hides behind God. As much as these people want to scream that they are not like the secular world, they have managed to recreate porn quite handily.
Sometimes women do get out of this system, just like sometimes women get out of abusive marriages in general. The difference with the Quiverfull women is that they have no friends. None. Their friend is their husband, it is considered a sin to have any other friends. So she literally does it by herself if she leaves. She will most likely have to leave her children behind. And it is a terrible idea for a mother, even one that is beaten down.
My heart goes out to these women. I actually read the book in small sections, I can't just gulp it down, because it breaks my heart. The interviews with the women part of this movement are awful.
I can not recommend this book enough, just to open your eyes as to how bad this movement has gotten, and what it is doing to thousands of women. Dogs are treated better than they are.
This movement of male domination within churches actually started to draw men back to church. The various Christian evangelical movements needed men in the pews, so they used the Bible to give men what they wanted, an almost porn senario, where your wife can never say no to anything you do and must constantly do anything you say. You have free access to everything, her mind and her body, and you get to control it all.
That kind of domination being offered within these churches will attact a certain kind of man, one who is prone to abusing women. When the women are then abused at home, they are abused by their church, who tells them what their abuser told them, it's all their fault they are being hit/raped/or otherwise injured. It is a circle of abuse that surrounds these women.
Then they have children, and then children are abused. The girls are raised to accept abusive behavior as normal and accepted. The boys are taught that it is expected that they take charge of their families in anyway possible. Instead of just one family doing this though, it is whole churches, and they are raising many many children to perpetuate this system.
The women in this system are dehumanized. They are reduced to a vagina. They are only there to give birth as many times as possible and to submit to their husband.
Interestingly, the language used within these churches is exactly the same as language used is DS/SM porn. It is the same system, just one admits what it is and the other hides behind God. As much as these people want to scream that they are not like the secular world, they have managed to recreate porn quite handily.
Sometimes women do get out of this system, just like sometimes women get out of abusive marriages in general. The difference with the Quiverfull women is that they have no friends. None. Their friend is their husband, it is considered a sin to have any other friends. So she literally does it by herself if she leaves. She will most likely have to leave her children behind. And it is a terrible idea for a mother, even one that is beaten down.
My heart goes out to these women. I actually read the book in small sections, I can't just gulp it down, because it breaks my heart. The interviews with the women part of this movement are awful.
I can not recommend this book enough, just to open your eyes as to how bad this movement has gotten, and what it is doing to thousands of women. Dogs are treated better than they are.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Quiverfull
I started reading Quiverfull last night. So far it's really thought provoking, and kind of disturbing. This isn't just some movement by a bunch of crazy people, this was well thought out, which means it was a well thought out way to abuse women (it really can't be honestly said any other way, these men abuse their wives). It's also terribly disturbing that these women go along with it. There are so many resourses to get women out of abusive marriages, I really think sometimes we need to start some kind of extensive outreach into communities like these.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Feminism
I dislike calling myself a feminist, though I do so for simplicity's sake. I agree with a lot of what feminism stands for, however what I don't agree with I really don't agree with. And it's what gets me in trouble with other feminists.
See, I believe that there is a whole subsection of feminism (and society in general) that fosters a certain victim mentality. It's kind of what the Republicans talk about when they talkabout how liberals encourage a victim society, except I don't think people are actively encouraging it. I think it happens because people try to do good, and the road to hell being paved with good intentions, it kind of got out of hand.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not some upper crust white guy (heh) bitching about the poor brown people who live on welfare. That isn't my beef, mainly because that's a bit out of my experience. I grew up poor in a bad home, had a crappy adolecence, got past it all, and am slowly getting past all that various shit in order to make my life better.
No, my beef here is the fact that feminists rarely allow women to move past victimization. In a strange way, it because how they are identified, it objectifies them the way women were objectified before by men. We're just being objectified by ourselves.
I was an abused woman. That is not who I am now. I was a victim, I am not one now. I hate being termed as a victim of anything, because it implies it is on going. I am also not a survivor because that imples that I lived through something much greater than my experience. I am simply me, what happened is a part of that, not the sum of the whole. I was abused by more than one person, in more than one part of my life. I didn't learn to go past it because I didn't learn that I was anything but that victim. No one told me I could be anything other than a victim because that's what you're called. You're a victim. It's degrading. And while some people are fine with being called that I hope other's aren't.
Feminism labels women who have lived through sexual assaults and domestic violence even as they seek to end the sources of our pain. It's a strange dicotomy. Do I want people to never be treated the way I was? Dear god of course I do! Do I wish to help the women who lived through it? Yes, more than anything. I feel their pain. Do I call them victims? No, victims are just that. If it were me I would put every woman in intensive therapy to reclaim themselves and banish the word victim from everyone's lips. Survivor too. I would ask these women to realize that this is not who they are now, but it helped them to where they are, and I that they should realize that what happened isn't the sum of their own self.
Of course this is intensely unpopular, and at times has been called selfish, cold, and many other things that boil down to "You don't understand what it's like to live throught something like this" (again with the heh. Trust me people, I know. Cycle of violence? Yeah baby). But there it is. No more victims, and as long as feminism creates a space where it is alright to allow women to be victimized again and again by the people trying to help them I will not feel comfortable calling myself a feminist. It's not right.
See, I believe that there is a whole subsection of feminism (and society in general) that fosters a certain victim mentality. It's kind of what the Republicans talk about when they talkabout how liberals encourage a victim society, except I don't think people are actively encouraging it. I think it happens because people try to do good, and the road to hell being paved with good intentions, it kind of got out of hand.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not some upper crust white guy (heh) bitching about the poor brown people who live on welfare. That isn't my beef, mainly because that's a bit out of my experience. I grew up poor in a bad home, had a crappy adolecence, got past it all, and am slowly getting past all that various shit in order to make my life better.
No, my beef here is the fact that feminists rarely allow women to move past victimization. In a strange way, it because how they are identified, it objectifies them the way women were objectified before by men. We're just being objectified by ourselves.
I was an abused woman. That is not who I am now. I was a victim, I am not one now. I hate being termed as a victim of anything, because it implies it is on going. I am also not a survivor because that imples that I lived through something much greater than my experience. I am simply me, what happened is a part of that, not the sum of the whole. I was abused by more than one person, in more than one part of my life. I didn't learn to go past it because I didn't learn that I was anything but that victim. No one told me I could be anything other than a victim because that's what you're called. You're a victim. It's degrading. And while some people are fine with being called that I hope other's aren't.
Feminism labels women who have lived through sexual assaults and domestic violence even as they seek to end the sources of our pain. It's a strange dicotomy. Do I want people to never be treated the way I was? Dear god of course I do! Do I wish to help the women who lived through it? Yes, more than anything. I feel their pain. Do I call them victims? No, victims are just that. If it were me I would put every woman in intensive therapy to reclaim themselves and banish the word victim from everyone's lips. Survivor too. I would ask these women to realize that this is not who they are now, but it helped them to where they are, and I that they should realize that what happened isn't the sum of their own self.
Of course this is intensely unpopular, and at times has been called selfish, cold, and many other things that boil down to "You don't understand what it's like to live throught something like this" (again with the heh. Trust me people, I know. Cycle of violence? Yeah baby). But there it is. No more victims, and as long as feminism creates a space where it is alright to allow women to be victimized again and again by the people trying to help them I will not feel comfortable calling myself a feminist. It's not right.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Being single
I'm single. I think my mother has come to terms with the fact that I'm going to remain that way from now on. I'm happy being single, in fact happier than I ever was in a relationship.
Being single mean, to me at least, a certain level of freedom. I've said before and will again that the only person I'm accountable to is my kid. And while I understand that people are happy in relationships, I just don't get it.
I've had a series of bad relationships, and they have soured me to even having a guy around (I had a hard time when my brother moved in, because even though he was my brother he still did guy things, and it irritated me). In my mind having a guy around means answering to everything you do, hanging on his every word, mothering him, and in general putting yourself aside for him. It's demeaning, but I have never been an equal in a relationship, and so I have now decided to simply not engage in that cycle any more.
One of the really fantastic things about being single and living on your own, or with a young child in the house, is learning what you can do (more than you assume most of the time) and what you like. That last one was a big thing for me, once I moved into my house I found myself getting things or watching things that my ex would like. I've spent a year relearning what I like. Just me. Food, decorating, TV, all kinds of things. It's been fun. And I'm loath to give it up to share things with someone else. Especially since I haven't met a man who actually brings something into a relationship.
I realize there is a certain amount of broken going on there, but since I have never been in a balanced relationship I actually can't imagine what they might be like in any practical way. I have seen adults in them. My grandparents, and my friends, for instance. But that's it. Seen from the outside, my parents didn't even have a good marriage.
I imagine I will get past this problem. People keep telling me that I'll miss being in a relationship (one friend was quite blunt and told me I would miss sex. Umm, men up here are desparate. Sex isn't really a problem, if I wanted it I could have it). I think that I really don't want to part with my independence and that there will probably be no man good enough for me to compromise for, now that I've learned what it's like to not have to.
A number of factors contribute to my singleness, but really whatever they are they have given me a place where I am actually content. It's a good place, and it's a place that I really only want to share with my daughter at the moment, a place of strength in yourself, and how important that is if you're a woman. My daughter watched me build a house. She actually signed one of the studs before the place was drywalled. She's seen me build a career. She's seen me follow my bliss in many ways. She's learning that she can do anything (including her dream of being a "space girl"), and that is one hell of a lot more important than trying yet again to sustain a relationship with a man who isn't, you know, sane.
Better to be happy and alone, trust me girls. Trust me. It's actually a lot less stressful.
Being single mean, to me at least, a certain level of freedom. I've said before and will again that the only person I'm accountable to is my kid. And while I understand that people are happy in relationships, I just don't get it.
I've had a series of bad relationships, and they have soured me to even having a guy around (I had a hard time when my brother moved in, because even though he was my brother he still did guy things, and it irritated me). In my mind having a guy around means answering to everything you do, hanging on his every word, mothering him, and in general putting yourself aside for him. It's demeaning, but I have never been an equal in a relationship, and so I have now decided to simply not engage in that cycle any more.
One of the really fantastic things about being single and living on your own, or with a young child in the house, is learning what you can do (more than you assume most of the time) and what you like. That last one was a big thing for me, once I moved into my house I found myself getting things or watching things that my ex would like. I've spent a year relearning what I like. Just me. Food, decorating, TV, all kinds of things. It's been fun. And I'm loath to give it up to share things with someone else. Especially since I haven't met a man who actually brings something into a relationship.
I realize there is a certain amount of broken going on there, but since I have never been in a balanced relationship I actually can't imagine what they might be like in any practical way. I have seen adults in them. My grandparents, and my friends, for instance. But that's it. Seen from the outside, my parents didn't even have a good marriage.
I imagine I will get past this problem. People keep telling me that I'll miss being in a relationship (one friend was quite blunt and told me I would miss sex. Umm, men up here are desparate. Sex isn't really a problem, if I wanted it I could have it). I think that I really don't want to part with my independence and that there will probably be no man good enough for me to compromise for, now that I've learned what it's like to not have to.
A number of factors contribute to my singleness, but really whatever they are they have given me a place where I am actually content. It's a good place, and it's a place that I really only want to share with my daughter at the moment, a place of strength in yourself, and how important that is if you're a woman. My daughter watched me build a house. She actually signed one of the studs before the place was drywalled. She's seen me build a career. She's seen me follow my bliss in many ways. She's learning that she can do anything (including her dream of being a "space girl"), and that is one hell of a lot more important than trying yet again to sustain a relationship with a man who isn't, you know, sane.
Better to be happy and alone, trust me girls. Trust me. It's actually a lot less stressful.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Culture of hatred
Warning, there is some serious profanity ahead. It serves a purpose, but if you don't like the repeated use of the word f*ck, please move along.
I've read in a couple of places this morning about the way woman bloggers or presences on the internet seem to attract extreme hatred and threats, especially of a highly sexual nature. It's an extension of the bullying found in school, they are attacking what they think is different, in this case women.
The internet, and computers in general, are seen as male. Girls can't use a computer, and if they do they go and post stupid pictures of their families. They don't do smart stuff on the internet. They don't know how. This is a pretty constant view of women and the world of computers.
I dropped out of college in 1996, and got into computers the same year. I got in at a time when women simply were not thought to be smart enough to use them, much less sell them to corporations like I did. Or repair them, like I did. The studies showing that women are actually better at software then men hadn't come out yet, thus starting to clear a path for women in the field of development.
For years, until 2000 when I finally quit because my doctor informed me that the stress was making me sick, I was the subject of some really astounding "soft sexism". Men would listen to what I had to say and then tell me that was nice and but they wanted to talk to someone who really knew about computers. It would take me 6 months or more to win over a corporation to where they would buy from me (I was commission, so I had to make any sale I could). It sucked, but I did it for years.
When I started really working on the internet I was disappointed to find out that the same mindset had carried over. Men still treated women the same way I had been treated, but on a wider scale. Of course if you tell them the first programers were women they think you are lying.
The anonminity of the internet has opened a new door for these men, now they can say what they really think about these women who are intruding in "their" domain. Thus the threats, usually of sexual violence, against female bloggers and writers of all kinds. If we can't see them, they feel that they can say anything they want about us.
Which makes one wonder, if men feel that they can act this way when they are not "being watched", is this what they are really like? Just machines that want to rape and kill women? Not all, I'm sure, but a lot. These rape fantasies are disturbing, and the fact that they feel the need to verbally act them out on women they are threatened by is even more disturbing.
Men wonder why women are afraid of them? That's why, right there. At some point in her life nearly every woman will be verbally or physically abused in a sexual manner. It's degrading, and a large part of the male population seem to think they can do it. Cat calls? Degrading. Every drunken "hey baby" or grope, yup, degrading. Every comment on a blog about wanting to rape you and slit your throat because you have the nerve to be writing about something considered a male field? You go ahead and guess on that one.
Too many people decide to stay silent on this, and most importantly too many men allow their fellow men get away with this. If a woman is attacked in this manner online most of the time women will start to yell and scream, but we really need other men to stand up and scream too. Sexism isn't going to be fixed by feminists alone, it needs to be fixed by other men who have the balls to stand up to their buddies when their buddies talk about how much they want to fuck a chick till she bleeds. Yeah, it's all harmless fun. Sure it is. How would you like it if we women talked about how we wanted to strap on a 10 inch dildo and fuck your ass until you bled? That cool? Yeah, I didn't think so.
So man up, stand up to your fellow men when they start this kind of behavor. Please? There's really no excuse for it. And then maybe you'll see that us "man haters" don't really hate you, we hate how you act. Treat us like humans, and we won't treat you like you're pond scum.
I've read in a couple of places this morning about the way woman bloggers or presences on the internet seem to attract extreme hatred and threats, especially of a highly sexual nature. It's an extension of the bullying found in school, they are attacking what they think is different, in this case women.
The internet, and computers in general, are seen as male. Girls can't use a computer, and if they do they go and post stupid pictures of their families. They don't do smart stuff on the internet. They don't know how. This is a pretty constant view of women and the world of computers.
I dropped out of college in 1996, and got into computers the same year. I got in at a time when women simply were not thought to be smart enough to use them, much less sell them to corporations like I did. Or repair them, like I did. The studies showing that women are actually better at software then men hadn't come out yet, thus starting to clear a path for women in the field of development.
For years, until 2000 when I finally quit because my doctor informed me that the stress was making me sick, I was the subject of some really astounding "soft sexism". Men would listen to what I had to say and then tell me that was nice and but they wanted to talk to someone who really knew about computers. It would take me 6 months or more to win over a corporation to where they would buy from me (I was commission, so I had to make any sale I could). It sucked, but I did it for years.
When I started really working on the internet I was disappointed to find out that the same mindset had carried over. Men still treated women the same way I had been treated, but on a wider scale. Of course if you tell them the first programers were women they think you are lying.
The anonminity of the internet has opened a new door for these men, now they can say what they really think about these women who are intruding in "their" domain. Thus the threats, usually of sexual violence, against female bloggers and writers of all kinds. If we can't see them, they feel that they can say anything they want about us.
Which makes one wonder, if men feel that they can act this way when they are not "being watched", is this what they are really like? Just machines that want to rape and kill women? Not all, I'm sure, but a lot. These rape fantasies are disturbing, and the fact that they feel the need to verbally act them out on women they are threatened by is even more disturbing.
Men wonder why women are afraid of them? That's why, right there. At some point in her life nearly every woman will be verbally or physically abused in a sexual manner. It's degrading, and a large part of the male population seem to think they can do it. Cat calls? Degrading. Every drunken "hey baby" or grope, yup, degrading. Every comment on a blog about wanting to rape you and slit your throat because you have the nerve to be writing about something considered a male field? You go ahead and guess on that one.
Too many people decide to stay silent on this, and most importantly too many men allow their fellow men get away with this. If a woman is attacked in this manner online most of the time women will start to yell and scream, but we really need other men to stand up and scream too. Sexism isn't going to be fixed by feminists alone, it needs to be fixed by other men who have the balls to stand up to their buddies when their buddies talk about how much they want to fuck a chick till she bleeds. Yeah, it's all harmless fun. Sure it is. How would you like it if we women talked about how we wanted to strap on a 10 inch dildo and fuck your ass until you bled? That cool? Yeah, I didn't think so.
So man up, stand up to your fellow men when they start this kind of behavor. Please? There's really no excuse for it. And then maybe you'll see that us "man haters" don't really hate you, we hate how you act. Treat us like humans, and we won't treat you like you're pond scum.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
You may want to have that looked at
There are people out there who really hate women. Especially women who are smart and outspoken and feminist.
For a really stunning example of that, make with the clicky here, and read the comments in particular.
The woman they are talking about, Jessica Valenti, is the founder of the blog Feministing and author of the new book The Purity Code (which I plan on buying when I get some extra cash). I have been reading her blog for a while now, and it's pretty good. Like a lot of feminists out there she is smart and funny and a decent read.
She's also getting married, to which I say, Good for her! And that is where this hate starts, because she posted on her blog about her impending wedding. Some right wing blog picked it up and off they went. The link above is to Ace of Spades. And there is some major hate going on there. For a woman they never met, who they assume to be a terrible overbearing bitch because she is a feminist and actually has the gall to say things they don't agree with.
Man, there is a group of people who need to have their issues checked out.
For a really stunning example of that, make with the clicky here, and read the comments in particular.
The woman they are talking about, Jessica Valenti, is the founder of the blog Feministing and author of the new book The Purity Code (which I plan on buying when I get some extra cash). I have been reading her blog for a while now, and it's pretty good. Like a lot of feminists out there she is smart and funny and a decent read.
She's also getting married, to which I say, Good for her! And that is where this hate starts, because she posted on her blog about her impending wedding. Some right wing blog picked it up and off they went. The link above is to Ace of Spades. And there is some major hate going on there. For a woman they never met, who they assume to be a terrible overbearing bitch because she is a feminist and actually has the gall to say things they don't agree with.
Man, there is a group of people who need to have their issues checked out.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Banning Barbie
So, it seems that a Vest Virginia law-maker wants to ban Barbie, citing that she teaches girls that you have to be beautiful rather than smart.
The kid has just gotten into Barbie. She play princess with them, it's cute and she has fun. All is good. It's like when she plays with her baby dolls to play family. Cute. She also dresses up like a pirate and wages war, so she has balanced play.
Since she is old enough to start noticing societal trends, my brother and I have started to enforce more positive images. Eat healthy foods, it's more important to be smart than pretty, etc.
We would have done this regardless of what the kid is playing with, because it's what familes do. They teach their kids how to be functioning adults. Barbie? Shouldn't be what is teaching your kid self-image. And banning Barbie won't really help the problem there.
If you want to address where girls are getting this image problem look at the two places that actually influence girls, even as young as mine. Family and media. There is a reason why she is allowed to watch Playhouse Disney and PBS and very little else. Because they don't portray women as either helpless or eye candy. In one show that the kid loves the girl saves the day by using math. While I hate the show (it's geared towards pre-schoolers. Math for pre-schoolers is really slow at times, and the kids can be kind of dense.) it's neat. So is my favorite show which features a girl who saves the day using vocabulary. Hee!
Only as a special treat can the kid watch shows like Hannah Montana or the like. Shows that feature vapid girls doing vapid things. But every day a lot of girls watch those shows and aspire to only be a rock star or a model. The kid's current dream is to be an astronaut. She's very serious about this and quizzed me this morning about space travel. She's four. I fear her sometimes. Heh.
In our house the emphasis is placed on intellegence not looks. It's placed on what you do in life, and we encourage her to do good things not because she should but because she can. I'm hoping that if I beat these things into her head when she encounters these girls in school she won't decide to put her dreams on hold to fit into their mold of pretty and popular. She won't just give up and be what all these girls have seen on TV and been told by their mothers they should be. If you really want to help these girls let me assure you it isn't all what they play with, it's what they are told. Tell them they can be anything. Encourage them, answer their questions, show them that they can do anything by following your dreams too. The media could lay off too. It's hard when the kid encounters one of those "I'm pretty so I don't have to be smart" girls. In my house we make fun of them. Not the best way, but I'm hoping she associates that level of dumb cunning with humiliation.
Anyway, banning Barbie won't help the actual problem of self image in our girls. And it irriates me that they will ban a doll rather than address the problem. That's not the way to fix things.
The kid has just gotten into Barbie. She play princess with them, it's cute and she has fun. All is good. It's like when she plays with her baby dolls to play family. Cute. She also dresses up like a pirate and wages war, so she has balanced play.
Since she is old enough to start noticing societal trends, my brother and I have started to enforce more positive images. Eat healthy foods, it's more important to be smart than pretty, etc.
We would have done this regardless of what the kid is playing with, because it's what familes do. They teach their kids how to be functioning adults. Barbie? Shouldn't be what is teaching your kid self-image. And banning Barbie won't really help the problem there.
If you want to address where girls are getting this image problem look at the two places that actually influence girls, even as young as mine. Family and media. There is a reason why she is allowed to watch Playhouse Disney and PBS and very little else. Because they don't portray women as either helpless or eye candy. In one show that the kid loves the girl saves the day by using math. While I hate the show (it's geared towards pre-schoolers. Math for pre-schoolers is really slow at times, and the kids can be kind of dense.) it's neat. So is my favorite show which features a girl who saves the day using vocabulary. Hee!
Only as a special treat can the kid watch shows like Hannah Montana or the like. Shows that feature vapid girls doing vapid things. But every day a lot of girls watch those shows and aspire to only be a rock star or a model. The kid's current dream is to be an astronaut. She's very serious about this and quizzed me this morning about space travel. She's four. I fear her sometimes. Heh.
In our house the emphasis is placed on intellegence not looks. It's placed on what you do in life, and we encourage her to do good things not because she should but because she can. I'm hoping that if I beat these things into her head when she encounters these girls in school she won't decide to put her dreams on hold to fit into their mold of pretty and popular. She won't just give up and be what all these girls have seen on TV and been told by their mothers they should be. If you really want to help these girls let me assure you it isn't all what they play with, it's what they are told. Tell them they can be anything. Encourage them, answer their questions, show them that they can do anything by following your dreams too. The media could lay off too. It's hard when the kid encounters one of those "I'm pretty so I don't have to be smart" girls. In my house we make fun of them. Not the best way, but I'm hoping she associates that level of dumb cunning with humiliation.
Anyway, banning Barbie won't help the actual problem of self image in our girls. And it irriates me that they will ban a doll rather than address the problem. That's not the way to fix things.
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