Friday, February 27, 2009

Free Speech

There was something I wanted to mention. I read today that there is a resolution up in the UN that is being voted on or whatnot to become a binding resolution. Apparently brought up by a muslim organisation it is a resolution stating that no religion will be blasphemied against in the UN.
I'm not going to pretend that I know what all of this means, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't actually apply to the US laws, but I'm really not sure. I do know that it seems to be a resolution that states that you can't say bad things about any religion.
And boy am I torn.
I would love it if people stopped saying crappy things about what I believe. I had a president tell the nation that he thought my religion wasn't real. I have been slandered and yelled at and had all manner of people try to convince me I am wrong. It would be nice for that to stop.
You know what? As awful as that is, I wouldn't stop people from being able to say crappy things about my religion. They always should have that right. It would just be nice if they stopped because they were decent humans.
I understand why Muslim groups want people to stop bashing them, they have been at the losing end of a lot of things this decade. Of course they also kind of deserve it, they have been doing really crappy things. Do crappy things, crappy things happen to you. Such is life. Don't get the UN to pass a binding resolution to keep people from bashing you when you keep killing people. And Christians? Same deal here, don't tell me to not bash you when you keep killing people. It doesn't work that way, because I know what you're going to do, the both of you. You're going to get a law passed stating I can't say mean things to you but you will totally not apply that whole religion title to me, and you will continue to bash me and the pagan religions at large. Kind of sucky, people.
You're treading a really fine line here. It's free speech for everyone, even if you don't like what the other person is saying. I don't like what a lot of people are saying. Christians, Muslims, some atheists, Jews, oh the list goes on and on. That doesn't mean that you can't say it, it just means I don't like it. I know that you guys have a bigger voice, but come on, we're all people here with feelings. Let's all just agree to disagree and let it be.

Thank God that's over!

It's almost the end of the month. Thank God! I hate February to begin with and this one was just rough. I'm not sure if it's a end of the winter, everything is grey and dreary mentality that makes it always so tough, but it does seem to be the worst month.
Tomorrow the kid is with her dad, and I can not find a single thing to do. I was thinking of going to see a movie, but there is nothing I want to see in the theaters. OK Hollywood, I'm a 32 year old woman, can you please make a movie I want to see? Not "He's Just Not That Into You" or any of that crappy sentimental bullshit, how about a good thriller? Oh, or a nice action movie that features cute men taking off their shirts? You know, another Bond movie perhaps? I can always go with shirtless Daniel Craig (I just typed shortless, and yes, I can go with that too, hee!). Stupid Hollywood.
Let's talk books! I'm almost done Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, so I'm about to move onto House of Leaves. I've left my reading schedual clear for that one, I really can't tackle it while reading anything else. Chris is reading Good Omens for the first time and told me the other day what an awesome book it is (which... yeah. I own it. I know. But it's cool that he's getting to enjoy it for the first time). He abandoned the Dark Tower series when he hit the part in the 6th book where King writes himself into the series. I also have just ordered The Watchmen, so I'm excited about adding that to my growing graphic novel collection. Yay!
I really can't think of anything else to talk about. Nothing has really grabbed my attention this week aside from Lost and that really strange hubbub over Michelle Obama's arms. So I guess that will be all.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lost blogging

Excuse me while I geek right the hell out over last night's Lost.
No matter what complaints I've had about Locke and his spazzy character arc, one thing I will alwasy say is that Terry O'Quin plays him flawlessly. And my heart is still broken over last night's episode, because of how flawlessly he is playing Locke this year. I don't think Locke is a particularly easy character to play, he's got to tread that fine line between crazy and messiah, and he usually does that just fine.
The other fantastic performance was Emerson. Dude. Ben is such a fantastic character (I never have a complaint about his arcs, the man is a villain who lies like a rug, and that's pretty much it, simple is better) and since the beginging he has had a really interesting relationship with Locke. Last night felt like that total culmination of that relationship. Did anyone doubt that Ben would kill Locke? I don't think Ben showed up there expressly to kill Locke. He's sociopathic, but he's also very impulsive at times and I think killing Locke was a spur of the moment "I'm so mad" thing. I can't imagine why he showed up there in the first place (I am not buying that whole keeping them safe thing he's been selling, but I do love his line about Widmore being the reason why he moved the Island. Hee!), and as much as Ben lies I think he really didn't want Locke to kill himself, not exactly. Of course you can tell Ben is lying because he's talking.
That said, Ben? It didn't ocur to you that the Island would bring Locke back to life? Yeah, I'm not buying that either, because you are a long way from stupid. So why kill him just to bring him to a place where he will come back to life? That makes no sense. Do you think you'll be able to talk your way out of him being really pissed that you killed him? Because I don't think even you can do that. So what are you doing Ben?
And finally, why on earth does everyone claim to be the leader of the Others? Either the Others change leaders faster than some people change socks or they really aren't leaders. Maybe dear old Richard is a bit more of a leader than these people know. Of course who knows, Richard plays things close to the vest.
Right, OK, enough about Lost. For now.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What does that even mean?

One of my favorite Ray Comfort/Fundie arguements regarding why atheists don't exist or are wrong is because they use God's name as a "cuss" word. Let's ignore the fact that he actually uses the word cuss. let's go back to the fact that people use the words God and Jesus as curse words (rather tame ones though, I think we can all agree on that).
A pagan message board I am on addressed this recently, how do you curse? Do you still say "God damnit" or "Jesus Christ"? Most of us still do. We do because it is learned language, it's something that we hear all the time in our society, so we automatically say it in certain situations. For example, I'm trying not to curse in front of the kid, so I had to learn a new response to things screwing up. Instead of "Son of a bitch" I taught myself to say "Son of a diddly". Thank you Flanders.
We can all relearn to not use God or Jesus as curses, but really, why bother? It's a pain, and it's kind of pointless. But to use that as an arguement against atheists is absolutely bizarre to me. That is like me saying that if people don't use the word organic they don't believe that organic things exist. That arguement makes no sense.
Though, I do wonder, following Ray's little logical field trip, if the fact that some Fundies refuse to say or write God's name means that they don't believe in him. Hee! Got to watch those double edged swords Ray.
So, Fundies, don't use shared language as an arguement like that. It's not just offensive to atheists, it's offensive to all intelligent people who use English as a primary language. Just stop, m'kay?

President who?

I can't help it. I always feel suprised when I see Obama as president. You know, you see him on TV or in pictures and he's walking around looking really presidental. Like he has a purpose, and knows where he's going, even if he's just going to lunch or something. Even when he's relaxed, he looks like he's relaxed with a purpose.
It's refreshing to see that we have a president who knows what the hell they are doing. Who has a purpose.
That said, why on earth is it OK for Fox News to broadcast nutsos talking about armed uprisings? Seriously? I was a "traitor" during the Bush years because I didn't support the war (my step sister was over there. I really didn't want to see her killed. My friends have family over there. I'm sure they didn't want their family killed. We're funny that way.) I never talked about armed uprisings. Occassionally I talked about taking the kid and going to Canada. So how are these nutsos not traitors? Oh right, because they are Republicans. I forgot.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Bullies and self image

Begin rant:
Everyone has a slightly distorted self-image. That's pretty natural, but sometimes self-image gets really twisted.
I actually have no idea how I look. It sounds really strange, but from what I understand I don't see the same person that everyone else sees. I see someone who is short, fat, has crooked teeth, bad skin, oily hair, a pug nose, a weak chin, hell I could go on and on. If you let me I probably would. I relentlessly try to make myself prettier, I use new skin creams, different makeup, I diet, I do yoga, I use special shampoos and conditioners, wear heels that kill my back. I admit, I have a problem with OCD, so I do obsess a bit more than I should about things, but that's what I see and try to fix.
Now this is apparently not what other people see. I mean, they see the short, I'm 5 foot, there is no changing that. But from what I understand they don't see that other stuff. My friends tell me that I'm attractive, not really fat, and reasonably pretty.
Lots of things contributed to my unreasonable self image. Part of it is my OCD. While I don't completely focus on self-image with my OCD (My main focus is food) it does certainly shade my perceptions. Another part of it is bullying.
I will admit, I was a victim in high school. Hell, through most of my education until college I was a victim. I really must have just thrown out a pick on me vibe. Girls in particular can be freakishly cruel, but even guys got in their jabs. Hell, I used to be spit on. Spit on for God's sake. I never told anyone that. Do you know how humiliating it is to be spit on? And not once, or twice, but many times.
People talk about the damage done by bullying as if it is a fleeting thing. It pisses me off because part of me is still that girl that was bullied for years because of how I looked. Some people are affected for the rest of their lives by what they went through as teenagers. It isn't just the kids that show up with a gun and shoot up their school that you have to worry about. It's also the kids that grow up to be people like me. I had a crappy home life and I couldn't even go to school to get away from it. My teen years were so stressful that I had regular panic attacks and developed some traits that I still can't free myself from.
Bullying is an overlooked issue in this country, and it affects a hell of a lot more than just the kid that snaps and kills people. I bet a lot of people out there will state that they were bullied, but what I'm talking about is that extreme form of it that goes on sometimes. The kind that just kills you inside. That is the kind of bullying that we don't want to admit goes on in schools because it means that something might be really wrong with our kids. We need to find out when bullying went into this extreme and figure out how to fix it, how to stop it. Not just turn a blind eye or tell everyone "ignore the bully" (seriously? Dumbest advice ever. Trust me).
I have no idea how to do this, but damn it I intend to make sure that my kid never deals with what I dealt with when she gets to school.
end rant

Oh really?

No one bothered to tell me until after I quit smoking two things...
1) I will stop sleeping. Seriously?! One of the sucky things about Fibro is it gets worse when you don't sleep, so I'm really not pleased by this whole state of affairs.
2) My sinus problems would get better. OK, I should have figured that out on my own, but it's a nice development.

Two things that didn't pan out as I was told...
1) Cold turkey quitting isn't as dreadful as I thought it would be. I was told horror stories about quitting cold turkey, but since I didn't exactly plan to quit I just did it, cold turkey became my option. I don't know, I'm on my third day and I'm not too bad.
2) I'm not any more hungry as usual. Yipee!

Monday, February 23, 2009

She's back...

Palin claims media sought to destroy her

Oh sweetie. See, no. The media did not have a search and destroy mission when it came to you. You and your family believed that because you were Republicans you were above everything. You thought that all those skeletons that should have disqualified you would not be found. But they were. And they were not buried. No one had to search for these things, they were way out in the open. Half of them came from your own mouth.
Sweetie, next time you want to go around and bitch about how everyone hates Sarah Palin, remember that we don't really hate you (well, OK we do, but it's nothing personal, it's what you represent, that know-nothing evanagelical good old boy brand of politics that ruined everything) , but we do feel very sorry for you. The way we feel sorry for very dumb animals. Like my cat Izzy, who runs into doors and walls and such when she's playing because she can't be bothered to look up. You're like my cat, pretty but stump-dumb.
So please be quiet. You're embarrassing yourself and us. Stop doing interviews, stop dragging your poor kid into the media circus and then bitching about the media. Go back to Alaska, serve out your term, fade away.
I'm begging you.

Manic Mondays

Lovely to be back after my short break. I had an eventful weekend, in that I finished my first commissioned baby blanket and stopped smoking. Yay me! I found it interesting that they were both the same level of ongoing difficulty. I still want to smoke and my hand is still sore after using that damned small crochet hook.
There are a few things I wanted to talk about on Friday, mainly Lost, since I hadn't done so already. So, Lost...
I am kind of in love with the fact that the main crux of the season isn't them getting back to the Island (just like last season it wasn't them getting off the Island). Which is why half way through the season they are back. I'm guessing the crux is getting back to the right time. I'm also guessing that Sun, Sayid, and Ben are in a different time. I hope they find Richard again soon so he can explain what on earth is going on. Assuming he knows, Richard strikes me as kind of mercinary and rather smart but not always in the know about what is going on with the Island.
And one other thing, what the hell happened to Ben? And why on earth didn't anyone say to him, "dude? WTF?" Even if I don't like a fellow if I see him obviously beaten to a bloody pulp I will ask after him. It's just polite. Everyone is guessing he went after Penny, which I would bet, but I'm also betting that Ben had something to do with Sayid being in police custody on that plane.
The Oscars were kind of predictable huh? I mean, everyone picked that. Except for Sean Penn. Everyone kept saying it would be Rourke, but I'm happy it was Penn. I like him more.
That is all for now...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Beams and Motes

"3And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"

That is my favorite Bible verse (and thanks to Personal Failure for posting it in her blog too, can't get enough of it.)
Before I moved to Heathenism, I was Druid. Now modern Druids have this whole thing where you have to go through levels of teaching, almost like a Buddist enlightenment thing. I was doing really good, but I stalled out on Judgement. See, the Druids spend a long time teaching you impartiality, seeing things from both sides and approaching a situation with a calm mind. Then after you get that they teach you how to judge the situation clearly. I never could get past not judging a situation, seeing both sides and seeing where both sides are coming from is a stalling point for me. I can't decide who is right in that situation. I guess that is more Buddist than Druid, who knows. All I know is that after struggling with this for years I got a calling for another path and followed it and am quite happy.
Now, this was something I struggled with, which is why the above verse appeals to me. The act of judging herself before you turn to judge another is evocative. It's a guidepost, a reminder to never let yourself get too crazy because you think someone else is wrong. It's a similar idea as a Buddist saying, "Every person's path is as difficult as your own." You catch that in your mind and don't let it go and you find yourself not being as preachy or judgemental as before.
Now, the thing with all this is, I was taught for seven years how to come to that point. Many religions spend years teaching you that particular thing, overcoming your natural "I'm right, you're wrong" instinct and allowing yourself to become more accepting (and forgiving, especially of yourself because dude, you're not always going to be so zen about things). However the religion that came up with the phrase above has decided that this state of mind apparently comes to you. It really doesn't. It can be hard for some people to put aside their own feelings on things. It can be hard when your basic religion is peace and all manner of hippy stuff. When your church is yelling hate? How hard could it be then, to put aside that hatred and see the beam in your own eye? You are so blinded by that hate that you don't even notice, even though you carry it around everywhere.
People wonder why sometimes Fundies can't live to the tenets of Jesus. Because Jesus asked a lot of people. Like a number of other religious founders he knew that sometimes peace was a better way to enlightenment than hatred, and that people would be happier if they could all forgive themselves and others. That's hard crap to come to. Especially if you want to believe you are better than everyone else. When you believe that, the idea of forgiving anyone, much less yourself, is difficult, and they can only see the mote. It's sad, but they have gone way past the meaning of that passage.
So now all we can do is try to forgive them.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Honor killing

Interestingly the rapture ready crowd (and other's I'm sure) are viewing the beheading as an "honor killing" only, not as a domestic violence matter. As though if it is an honor killing it is different from when a Christian man kills his wife.

Beheading Bristol

Incidentally there is a town near me called Bristol. But that is neither here nor there.
There are two women's new stories that I wanted to mention, poor Bristol Palin and the beheading in New York.
First, poor Bristol. That poor girl is 18 and a new mom. If you haven't had kids, let me assure you the first few months of motherhood is hellish. No matter what the fundies want you to believe, it is hell marked by occassional bright spots, known to other people as "quiet" and "sleeping". Bristol has shocked her mother's supporters by stating that abstinence only education isn't practical, and by making decidedly pro-choice comments (such as "it was my choice". Shocking!) Over on Rapture Ready they are dragging her over the coals, stating that she should have more respect for her mother and shouldn't have granted the interview.
These people think that Bristol decided to grant the interview? I'm reasonably sure that Bristol can barely get dressed without her mother's help right now. If we all think about this we can all come to the conclusion that Bristol didn't grant this interview, mommy did, and that is why mommy swept in to take it over when she strayed off script.
Bristol is right though, teens won't stop having sex. They have always had sex, we need to make sure they understand how to protect themselves.
Oh, and Rapture Ready commenter who stated that "waiting 10 years before marrage and having kids is unrealistic", that is a big part of our problems here in America. That there is nothing else for a woman do but get married and pump out those kids. Sheesh!
Now, the beheading in New York. All I keep hearing about is how this man was Muslim. That may be the least relevant fact of this story, it provides nothing to this story aside from villianising him further. This is hardly the first woman in an abusive marriage who was killed by her husband after she tried to leave. She won't be the last. The lesson here, folks, is that when someone says "he's hurting me" we need to listen. Again and again women in abusive relationships will say that no one believes or listens to them. They feel even more isolated, and their husband further isolates them from their friends and family. Some women never get the courage to leave and are simply killed one night when the husband goes too far. Some women try to leave and are killed when their husband finds out. Some women are lucky. They get away (literally, you sneak away while he is at work or with friends, it's sad but there you go. I left while my husband was at work. My friends came up and we pack up their car and ran.) They get away and get help and go on, always scared that he'll find them but they do get to live. This woman didn't get that chance. She tried, and I would hate to hear that she died in vain. Let someone out there hear her story and think, "I wonder if that's what my friend means when she says 'x'," and then let that someone be moved to help. If you don't know anyone who needs help, then find your local women's shelter and give them clothes (children's clothes especially, these women are leaving with nothing most of the time, and they take their kids with them).
Help these women. Make sure that you don't know a woman who is killed by her husband/boyfriend/s.o.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I need to stop reading Gay Patriot. Not because of him, he's funny as hell with some of his bizarre ideas about how conservatives don't hate gay people or want to take away their rights. No, it's the comments. The people who come out in there are so rabid and delusional that they make my blood pressure sky rocket.
For those interested, the latest piece is here:
I think it's about time that I admit I'm watching Hero's for Sylar and his amazing scene stealing eyebrows.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Selling out for your kids

I do the damdest things for the kid. I really do. This weekend I celebrated Valentine's Day by giving her a gift bag full of little gifts. I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid holiday really, full of women trying to prove how much their men love them.
Each year we celebrate Easter. I set up a treasure hunt for her, and she follows the clues to her Easter basket. We celebrate the Easter bunny and chocolate version of Easter, not the dead guy version, but if I had my way we wouldn't celebrate it at all.
Same for Christmas.
I celebrate all kinds of secular holidays for the same reason a lot of pagan parents do, because if you want your kid to be "normal" they have to do what the majority does. And the majority does NOT celebrate Beltane. Though I think a lot of problems would be solved if they did.
The majority, as much as some of them hate to admit it, is Christian. You can also go with Jewish. Anything else and you're not going to have an easy life. And why make things worse for your kids? We all remember how hard it can be to be a kid. Try being the kid that doesn't celebrate Christmas.
Chrstians will be more than willing to tell you how awful it is for them, but seriously, they should try being the people who don't celebrate their holidays. It ain't a walk in the park not being Christian, let me tell you.
There are times when I want to just smack the people who piss and moan about being "persicuted for their faith". There are certainly times when I want to ask them what alternate world they live on that they really feel that people like me are trying to keep people like them from going to church or whatever it is that they do.
It is the people like them that make it necessary for me to celebrate holidays I don't believe in so my kid is normal and not made fun of at school. I wonder how they would like it if they had to do that? Excepting, of course, Beltane. Because who doesn't like a round of good sex?

Friday, February 13, 2009


Dear God, I just caught myself rocking out to "Here I Go Again". Hee!

Friday Randomness

So, I never did talk about Lost this week, so let's touch on that first. Is Charlotte Ben's daughter? Dude, wouldn't that be awesome. Imagine how pissed he'll be when he finds out both his daughters were killed. Dude. I'm loving Locke's sacrifice. I'm loving that he didn't believe Richard when he was told he would have to die, but he sees it now and he's accepting it. Terry O'Quinn is an amazing actor.
This weekend is the kid's first alone visit with her dad. The kid is freaking out bad. I've said it before, this breaks my heart. Because it's breaking hers.
Fuel prices are on the rise in the shipping world, in a dramatic enough way that there is an office pool on where they will be next week. We're still down from our massive charges of earlier this year, but it's unsettling to see it going up. It means that the prices for regular gas will keep going up too.
Despite the housing bubble popping, I have still managed to keep the house. Next week I celebrate my one year anniversery there. Yay! I had a bit of good fortune, because Fanny May refused to back my mortgage when I applied, but I was going through my regular bank, so they gave me the mortgage anyway. The Fanny May crashed and burned, and I thought to myself, "Thank God I wasn't caught up in that mess!"
One of the interesting things is that my development is one of the carter Habitat for Humanity developments. The entire development is Habitat families, who worked on our houses, went through endless classes, and got everything in order before we signed any papers. The process to get a Habitat house can be anywhere from a year to three years, and you are working the entire time. A side effect of the screening process and constant classes is that despite being "low income" families, there has not been a single forclosure in my development. Go us!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happy Lincoln-Darwin's birthday! Go do something civil and evolutionary. Hee.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Gender sterotypes

I've been engaging in a discussion with some gay hater type, and we just touched on the subject of gender sterotypes (that a man and woman bring separate things into a marriage because of their gender, which... duh. But sadly he's talking about the more "traditional" gender roles.)
I'm not a big fan of gender sterotypes. I'm a rather... well... male woman. I work in a male dominated field, in my house I hold the traditional male role of breadwinner/disciplinarian. I am the woman who "deals with it" rather than break down. I have typical male problems in expressing my feelings. Before my brother moved in I handled the female roles of cooking, cleaning, etc, but it wasn't great. I can do those things, I'd just rather not. I'm the woman who needs a wife, not a husband, and thus tends to be single because of the lack of men willing to take that role.
According to gender sterotypes I shouldn't be any of these things. Hell, I shouldn't have left my ex husband, because no matter how bad marriage is it's where a woman feels best. Right? Yeah, OK, whatever.
In the last few decades we have exprienced a departure from traditional views of what men and women should do, but in certain ways the sterotype continues. I've worked it two male dominated fields now, computers in the mid to late 90's and transportation. When you work in a male dominated field, and you happen to be a woman, you get blown off. Just like when you're a man in a female dominated field you get belittled (ask a male nurse sometime about his career. I bet it's full of people putting him down).
The people who belittle you if you work in a field outside of your gender are unable to fathom that a woman like me, who has a mostly male personality, even exists. Which is why they don't understand the dynamic of a gay relationship (see, I did have a point!)
These people don't understand that just like in a heterosexual marriage the gay marriage has a male and female element, but it happens on a deeper emotional level, rather than a surface level. They see two men or women together and assume that both have the same set of emotions and values which would be "typical" to their gender. They don't see that one of those men is more feminine than his partner, taking on that nurturing role in the relationship, and one woman is more masculine, taking on the colder and more "deal with it" role in the relationship. Give those couples a child and they will raise that child within the same set of emotional roles you would get in a straight family, just the outside appearance would be different. Which in turn would teach said child that outside appearance isn't a clue as to how a person acts. A valuable lesson there.
Maybe these people need to actually see a homosexual couple in order to see how traditional gender roles translate into a same sex relationship.

Disclaimer: Despite what I have mentioned up there I am not actually looking for a wife, male or female. Being single agrees with me, and frankly my personality doesn't allow for supporting another person unless it is the kid. I have no time for another person's emotional baggage. See? So terribly male.

Monday, February 9, 2009

A must read

If you will, please go over to the blog roll and read Homosecular Gaythiest's post "A Personal Economic Disaster Story". This is the face of our wonderful Bush world. This is his legacy.
Read that post and try not to cry, because you know someone like him. Or you are someone like him.
I read it and thought of my brother, who had a place to come to. I'm barely holding it together, but at least he has food and a place to live and warmth. So very many people don't. So very many people actually do chose between heat and eating, or a home and eating.
This is disgusting, and I hate that this is what the Bush policies have done. He has raped our society, and he has to pay.

Those who don't know their history, and all that jazz

It's a funny thing that comes up again and again in atheist, agnostic, and pagan blogs. As a rule, we know the Bible better than the fundies. Sure, we usually make fun of that fact, that we have read the whole damn book, most of the time more than once, and they haven't. At all.
When I was in school I remember learning about the early Catholic church, and how they kept God to themselves, allowing the poor masses only bits and pieces of the Bible. The reasoning was that the masses wouldn't understand the Bible and wouldn't understand the true way to God was through the Church. Eventually the printing press and standardize language rules allowed the Bible to be read by the masses, and then the Church splintered, and we all know what happened then. But the important thing was that bits and pieces part.
The fundamentalist church does not seem to advocate the reading of the entire Bible. I have heard of fundies that have actually never read anything but select passages. The preachers don't ever seem to say things like, "Hey, how about we start at the beginning?"
This has always reminded me of the early Church, the withholding of information to your people is a blatant power play, and I wonder sometimes if these people realize it? Now they have other options, other churches to turn to and find fellowship at. So why stay where you are, where your own holy book is just a collection of disjointed quotes advicating violence? I really can't answer that question, I can only offer a few idea's. The culture of fear that has been cultivated in this country may be a part of staying in these churches. They offer authority and and protection and promise horrors upon the enemy. And all you have to do is believe. That's terribly attractive to some people. Some are attacted to the power itself. Here is a place where you can rise far and fast, as long as you say the right things. Those things aren't really in the Bible, but that's OK, it says stuff close enough. Just keep your people so busy with Bible studies and activities that they never actually read what they are studying. But you start thinking that kind of thing and you are getting close to thinking that these churches are nothing but cults, because that is classic cult behavior.
It is something to think about, that a whole sect of Christianity has come full circle, back to the Church of the middle ages, despite Luther and the reformation and every other advance made to put the way to God in the hands of the people, there are still people who will hand it back and expect their "betters" to show them the way. It's sort of insane to me, but what do I know?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Ray Comfort

Makes my head hurt. I mean it, Jesus how does he come up with this crap?
Let's look at this. We're both religious people (apparently, I'm assuming he's religious and not just nutso). He believes in this story of creation set forth from his holy book. My religion has a creation story too. I don't believe that they actually were telling me in literal terms how the world was born. I also don't believe that Odin actually died on the World tree, nor that there even is a World Tree. I'm heathen, not stupid.
It's a myth, people. Come on, say it with me. Myth. You're book? As much a myth as mine. It's a collection of neat stories that are meant to explain what people didn't understand. It's cool that there are similarities through cultures that help us understand the working of the human brain. There are bits of it that are true, and then bits of it that are made up, and then bits of it embellished at each telling, until you get what we have now. That's what it is. If science say that there was most likely a Big Bang and evolution it's OK to be a person of faith and still believe in science. My gods don't care if I believe in the Big Bang. They really don't. Because it doesn't affect my faith in them. See where I'm going here, Ray?
There is an actual middle ground between total blind belief in a book and renouncing your faith because of science. You kind of can have both. Dear god Ray, figure this out soon.


I watched a short part of the interview the Today show did with the mom of the Octuplets this morning. Very strange woman, and it makes me wonder about the morality of a few things that went on with this whole deal.
Let me start off by saying, I'm a single woman, and I have no plans on entering a relationship again. At some point I would like the kid to have a younger siblings, so I have played around with the idea of IVF to have another child. Much like this woman in CA I am essentially selfish and would use this to my own ends, as opposed to just finding a guy to knock me up.
So, assuming I find a fertility DR who would perform IVF on a fertile single woman? What would this DR say when I explained to him that the only reason why I wanted this proceedure was because I didn't want to find a guy but still wanted another kid? A bit selfish, no?
IVF is expensive, and it's meant for infertile couples, should I get it? Should I even ask for it? Should a DR give it to me? I mean, really teh answer is no, let it be reserved for women who can't get preggers, noyt women like me, and not women like this woman in CA.
All that aside, this DR of hers implanted 8 embryos. 8! In a healthy young woman, and he must have known there was a chance all 8 would live. That's so dangerous it boggles the mind. Even in older infertile women it seems that the standard is implant 4, and hope that 1 or 2 make it. There was no reason I can see to implant 8. And the fact that this DR did implant so many embryos into a young woman who didn't need IVF makes me wonder about his own state of mind.
I've been around a lot of doctors. I know that they are human, and that sometimes their own feelings overshadow the oath that they take, even as I don't agree with that I understand it. But this doctor did a unnecessary procedure on a woman and then put her life at risk by allowing her to carry 8 babies. I would love to hear his reasoning on this, even more than I wanted to hear from her. Because she could be dismissed as mentally ill, what he did was practically unforgivable as a doctor. It is as bad as the doctors who decide what they will and will not treat or perscribe based on their own faith or morailty, this doctor made a medical decision based solely on the whim of his patient, and apparently had no second thoughts about how this could impact her health, or if it was even necessary.
If the decision were up to me as to if he could keep his license I would probably revoke it. Doctors should be impartial, and should do what is best for the health of their patient. I can't see an arguement that leads to this implanting being the best for this woman. I really can't.
And I can't see where it would be OK for a woman like her, or like me, to get IVF simply because they want another child, but are too lazy or stubborn to make the effort to get a man. I sound really awful there, but come on, I can easily get pregnant again, I just need to have sex enough times. Why not save it for a woman who really needs this procedure?

Thursday, February 5, 2009


So, while last night didn't contain Des or Richard, it did include Ben, so that was cool. It also had Jack and Kate,which was not. Seriously? Jake and Kate? Christ.
I'm worried about Juliet, people. Nose bleeds? Not Juliet! Not when she and Sawyer are turning into a power-couple. God what an awesome couple they would make. Sawyer? Sweetie, forget about Kate, she was always so damn wishy-washy about her affections, go with Juliet who is kick-ass, and pretty stable. Best of both worlds.
Ben, and his lawyer. Awesome, he had me going, I thought for sure the suit was coming from Sun, I didn't see him at all. Fantastic. I miss his quiet mind-games sometimes.
Locke. I have gone back and forth on your character. I loved you up until the last season, when you just got a bit preachy for me. I'm swinging back this season to liking you, mainly because of your devotion to the Island. And what makes you different from Ben (and probably Richard, actually) as a leader for the Others? You care about the Island, they cared about their people. Unless I'm missing a lot of affection toward the others beyond "I'm your leader" I don't get that Locke cares particularly for the people as much as the place. Interesting. And it makes you wonder why Jacob chose Locke for the job, did he know that he would need the noble sacrifice to save the Island so he chose a leader most likely to give their life? Who knows?
Lost, I love you. But put Richard on next week. Kthxby

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The dreams of our fathers

I know, I promised to update about the court case and I didn't. Well, all is well. The kid is offically mine (I have primary physical custody) and he has reasonable visitation. I'm a smidge irritated by the fact that it cost all that money to get him to agree to what I told him in Sept/Oct of last year. I am not sure what the point of all that was.
So let's see, I've talked politics and religion and Lost here, let's talk about something else close to my heart, Fibromyalgia. Though God knows I wish it wasn't close to my heart. I've had the bitch that is Fibro for almost 4 years now, and been diagnosed for about 2.
Fibro is a chronic pain disorder, and though current thinking places it as a immuno-neuolgic disorder no one really knows what causes it. It results in nerve pain, all over. Seriously, all freaking over. Each person reacts differently to it. Some people are rarely bothered, some people function with meds and have bad bad days but in general are OK (me), and some people are bed-ridden. It really runs the gamut.
Like most of these stupid chronic pain disorders you don't see anything wrong with me. I'm in pain, you don't see it. It's hard to approach a disease that way (my mother one time told me how terrible it would be if I were "really" sick. Ummm, gee thanks mom! Yep, I'm making it up!)
Anyway... recently Fibro has risen into the public's view, and now we have drugs for it and commercials advertising those drugs. Commercials that feature older women bitching about how they hurt. Umm, I'm 31. Most people with Fibro are young, it strikes between 18-35 regularly, though of course there are the oddballs outside of that age group. It almost never strikes after menopause. Most people with Fibro are women. One of the few common factors with Fibro is that it seems to occur after a trauma, I found myself with it after being preggers. If you have it, chances are a close relative has it too. You also probably have some kind of anxiety disorder.
There are a lot of things that aren't understood about Fibro, but slowly people are learning more. We now know that people with it seem to carry a high level of bacteria in their body, well past normal. We know that it is closely related to chronic fatigue syndrome, so close that people think they are the same disorder just manifesting different symptoms. But there is no standard treatement, and that makes it a hard disease.
So if you know someone who has it? Hey, be nice to them when they seem to move slowly, they go home early, or they seem a bit out of it. OK?

Monday, February 2, 2009


Umm, Chris Eccelson is in the new G.I. Joe movie? I missed that how?
Will I see it? Yes, more than likely through my enduring love of Chris and my nostolgia of G.I. Joe. Will I like it? I didn't watch the super bowl so I haven't even seen the trailer, so I don't know yet. Probably not.

Why can't I dream you away from me

Pretty neat line, huh?
I've been having a lot of really weird dreams recently, probably as a result of the impending court case. My favorite so far was my and the kid moving and my ex deciding that he was going to wall himself up in my attic. Ah, the fun a shrink would have with that.
The court case is tomorrow. All yesterday my brother reassured me (except when I was alseep, I hope he wasn't creepy and talking to me in my sleep. Though honestly he doesn't strike me as anywhere near that creepy), telling me "you have a lawyer" and "you have nothing to worry about", but I worry anyway because it's about the kid and I love her muchos.
Anyway, onto other things...
Out here in SE PA a small town has been having a horrific string of fires. One took out 15 homes at one shot, which is horrible to imagine. People are patroling the streets in an effort to stop this arsenist, but there were still 4 more fires this weekend. Who knows if they are related, they were outside of the town limits, but what are the chances that they were a separate arsentist? It's scary and if people could think good thoughts for Coatsville that would be great. They need it right now.
Also, if good thoughts could be spared for Kentucky and their residents that would be super. I used to live down there and let me tell you, if a half an inch of snow can shut down the state imagine what all that ice has done. It's insane.
And finally, Phelps. In case no one has noticed, Michael Phelps is 23. And if you've never heard him talk, let me assure you he sounds like a 23 year old stoner. All in all he could be doing worse things with his millions upon millions than visiting a frat party and taking a hit off a bong. Should he have? Dude, don't ask me, I don't even drink (seriously, I have a case of hard cider in my pantry that I bought when I moved in to give to the people who helped me. It's still unopened and likely will remain that way). I think it could have been worse, at 23 you make bad decisions (I decided to get married for instance, not my shining moment). Move on media, seriously.
Also, Haggart, you are not a heterosexual with issues. Honey, you're gay. It's OK to say it. It really is. Come on out, no one will stone you. Join a nice UCC church and find yourselfsome healthy fellowship.
That is all. I will update on the court case tomorrow. Think happy thoughts for me and the kid!