I've mentioned a few times here that I have a disorder call Fibromyalgia. It's a chronic pain disorder. In the US there are two schools of thought about this particular disorder, one is that it is real and needs to be treated, the other is that you're making it up.
Imagine how you feel after a really hard workout. How you feel really sore and you have a hard time moving. Imagine that feeling all over your body, all of time. That is my baseline, it's how I feel every day. Things will sometimes get worse from there, sometimes so bad that I wake up crying because it hurts so much.
I will feel this way for the rest of my life.
One thing that no doctor really explains to you when you have a chronic pain disorder is the depression that goes along with it. When it sinks in, that you're not even 30 and you will be in pain for a good 40 years or so? That's a really depressing thought.
I've dealt with this for a couple of years now. Sometimes, when I'm doling out my daily dose of pills, or I'm in bed unable to sleep, I get overwhelmed by everything.
Good luck trying to get help with that. My insurance doesn't like getting therapy in general, and it really doesn't like the idea of therapy as a treatment for a disorder.
In fact most doctors never even think that people with a chronic disorder may need to talk about it. My doctor steered me into a support group the day I was diagnosed, but never told me about how I might become depressed, or what the long term effects of an illness are. Especially an "invisable" illness. After all, I don't look sick, so I'm expected to act fine. You don't get a lot of compassion when people can't see what's wrong.
When it comes to any kind of long term illness I think the patient should be offered therapy to help get them over that inital "oh my god". And then that option of continuing should be open. Some people don't respond to support group settings. While it's nice to know other people feel the way you do, sometimes it's hard to say "I really can't do this". And if you can't talk about how you feel when you're always in pain, you're eventually going to reach a very very bad place.
I blog to get around that feeling. I don't tell people in "real life" how I feel, ever. There is no point, because quite frankly, I look fine. My boss, my kid, the people I deal with, they don't give a crap if I can't get out of bed. That's the hell of Fibro, there is literally no outward sign that anything is wrong. So I journal, I blog, and I mention it here because support groups aren't my thing.
I could probably benefit from a therapist in this regard. To help when it is just so much, when the idea of going on and on like this to too much. But sadly that isn't an option. And it should be. If we're talking about overhauling healthcare, let's put that in there somewhere. That people who have a chronic illness of any kind can have the option for therapy as part of their treatement for that illness. So they don't have to deal with depression compounding that problem.