Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dear Fundie

Dear Fundie…
Hi there! Come in. Sit down. I have coffee, and a bunch of teas. Since I’m a baker and my brother is a chef we have lots of good food. Want some? Are you comfortable? Good.
So, you’re here to convert me, yes? And apparently not like my stalker Mormon buddies. But then I suppose my stalker Mormon buddies get a kick out a pagan that has The Book of Mormon and that’s why they are nice. That, and that whole quota of souls thing.
I have your book too. I have the King James version, and the NIV, and some version with really big lettering, which is bizarre, but it was free. I’ve read them, too. See, one thing most of us pagans have in common is a calling to study. Everything. At great length. Especially religion. After all, if we’re going to decide, we’d rather know what the other side has to say.
So let’s meet each other as religious people. You and I are more alike that you think. I also worship a warlord god that sacrificed himself (mine did so for further knowledge. I bet that studying thing makes more sense now, doesn’t it?). I also worship a virgin. She’s a huntress, Artemis. So not a whole lot like Mary, but there is some similarity there. A starting point.
If I am strong, I get to go someplace special too. Valhalla, where I get to hang out and drink and fight until the last battle (yep, we have one of those too) when I go and fight with my God. Of course we all die, so you have us on that one. But we die a good death, which is all a warrior needs.
I pray, every day. Odin is really big on telling the truth, so each day I ask him to help me watch my mouth. If nothing else it reminds me to watch my mouth. I talk to him, all the time. And yes, he answers.
I know that you think he’s a devil. At times I would be hard pressed to disagree with you, he’s a hard god, but all of them are in the end. That’s what faith is about isn’t it? But he certainly seems to want me to be the best person I can be, especially by helping people.
And that’s where we differ. My god requires me to serve people. My goddess does too. Both require that I put myself into the community and serve those lesser than myself. Because if I have it, I should give it. That’s just how it goes. Your god says that too, you know. He also requires that you not be all loud and obnoxious about your faith. My gods don’t really care if I am or not, but you have handily made it impossible for me to tell people in real life that I am pagan.
And it’s not just me you’re doing it to. You do it to Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindi, and on and on. That isn’t really a great way to help your community.
If I may offer some advice, one religious person to another. Step back. Go back home and find some still place. And listen. Just listen. You know, for that still small voice. And hear it. Hear it well. Whether it’s god or just your own self, I doubt very much it is OK with how you act. Now is a good time to take a look at your behavior and reevaluate. Just calm down.
Come back any time, all are welcome here.


  1. Oh, I would so love to go door to door "witnessing" with you!

  2. Could you imagine? I don't know if people would be happy or hit me! Heheh.

  3. I've always like your God better anyway :) Hell the 'mythology' pretty much cured me of the disease of Christianity. I've been taking your advice lately Leigh and learning all I can. If I were to be keeping score, I'd say the Atheists are winning my soul fairly easily. But my bringing up the idea of religion once again in my life has greatly improved my knowledge of recent scientific breakthroughs

  4. Hi ImtheRabbit!
    Good for you, I think studying is the best way to go about approaching any kind of belief, after all, faith only takes you so far ;-)
    The problem with Christianity, at least the fundie branch, is that it doesn't allow for the idea that people find the belief system that works for them. Be it Christianity, atheism, or any other religion. You can't force a round peg in a square hole.

  5. Studying also helps one vocalize their unbelief better :) now if only I had a better grasp on grammar I'd be all set ;)

    I used to think that maybe God appeared to different cultures in ways they could understand, making every religion just different views of the same God. That would be to easy an answer though and in our universe it seems no answer is ever easy.

  6. I believe that God comes to individuals, whatever God that is. People get the god they need. And if they don't need one? Then why get one, if you've moved beyond gods, that's cool too :-)
    I hesitate to say that every religion is different views of the same thing though, just because once you start looking at religions you can see they are not all looking at the same thing!

  7. Oh I know that now, that was a theory I had at a younger age. I posted on someone's blog somewhere (man I have a hard time keeping track of all of them) that if intelligent design is true, then God doesn't really care so much about the individual as the species. That’s the only reason I could think of for ID is if all the stuff that doesn't fit (don’t seem to be intelligently designed), is there to teach us something. Which is why I’d say “that God” is more interested in the knowledge gained by the species and not so much the person?

    Even with all that, I still can't believe in an actual God. When I was younger, I wanted to believe, but even then I just couldn't get my mind to really, really, believe. No matter how much I think and learn, I still can’t believe it. I must just be doomed ;)

    I also theorized that with my version of God, the only real sin would be to just accept thinks without thinking about it. That would make fundies big time sinners *hehe*


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