Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The myth of virginity

The transition from Quiverfull to The Purity Myth was really easy, since the last chapter in Quiverfull was about the daughters of this movement and touches upon what The Purity Myth is about, the sexualization of young women and reducing them to their hymen.
This is something near and dear to me, as I have a daughter. I have to undo a lot of what other people tell her about herself, and help her grow into an adult with a healthy attitude about her body and sex in general.
The kid knows the basics of her body, she knows all the parts, and she knows that when she gets older those parts will change and she'll get breasts (she informed me that she doesn't want "fat boobs" like mine, but small ones. I told her that I had no control over that, but I would hope that she didn't get large breasts anyway). In teh next year or so I will teach her the mechanics of sex, then at puberty we'll start with birth control and protection, and having sex when you are ready, and how to enjoy it. If it sounds like a battle plan that's because it is. I'm fighting against the rest of the country who are telling my daughter her only worth is her vagina.
If that seems really disturbing, that's good, because it is. Our daughters are paying a dear price for the sexual obsessions of a few old men.


  1. odin bless you, my dear.

    i've been fighting an uphill battle with my nieces on this very issue. I am the "go to aunt" for all things sex ed (because nobody wants to discuss sex with their own children, i guess), but when i start going on about "it's your body" and "enjoying sex" I'm the evil aunt encouraging sluttiness.


    and for the record, i would like some fat boobs.

  2. That is such a weird line to draw isn't it? That it you enjoy sex you're slutty. But if you're married and enjoy sex you're being a good wife. I just can't wrap my mind around that.
    And the other thing I don't get is the whole virgin thing to begin with, especially viewed as it is by fundies today. In parts of my religion I'm a virgin because I am an unmarried woman who lives independant of any family or clan. The fact that this concept of virginity, which has nothing to do with sex, can become their version of virginity, well that's kind of mind boggling.
    Nah, you don't want fat boobs. They aren't all they're cracked up to be.

  3. Okay, I want fat boobs for pictures. There's always the wonderbra, I suppose. (Why do they make wonderbras in 38DD?)

    I always like the scottish way of doing things. (part of my heritage. I'm clan gunn on someone's side.) a woman, not the man, could, and usually did, insist on a trial marriage, the purpose of which was to see if the sex was any good. if they decided the sex wasn't good, they were free to go.

    of course, those sorts of pagans didn't have a "bastard" concept per se, because celebrating beltaine meant fucking (anyone, you weren't restricted to your husband) in the fields, and children born of beltaine were considered lucky. so, you never really knew whose kids were whose, and there was no hymen judging.

  4. Ah yes, marriages that lasted a year and a day. They are still practiced in Celtic paganism, and are wonderfully helpful. A starter marriage. Of course in Celtic paganism a woman who has had a kid is desirable, because that means she's fertile, so a child of Beltane is a good deal. Way back when in Ireland it was a given that a priestess would go to Beltane and come away preggers, which in turn ensued fertility for the clan or town. Better deal than the kings got, who were killed to ensure the fertility of the land. Heh.

  5. I got to participate in a handfasting (is that the right word) it was a lot of fun, instead of one knot; they got everyone to tie knots with best wishes attached. I like that idea; if you want a divorce you just untied the knot :)

    As for boobs ;) I like having practically none myself. I don't have to wear a bra if I don't want to and I usually don't, a tank top is all I really need. Now my cousin, whose body frame was just tiny, had HUGE boobs. We used to have fun bra shopping, I couldn't get one small enough that fit around my by body right and she couldn't get one big enough yet still fit her small frame :P Her larger boobs worked against her in so many ways. She used to ride horses and compete, but because she leaned forward, showing bad posture, they would mark against her. Her coach told her to wrap her boobs to help support them, and she was to embarrassed to do that and just stopped riding.

    I think big boobs are only good for the person who plays with them, not the owner ;D

  6. Heh, that's funny because I have the exact same problem. When I got preggers I gained 70 pounds (I kid you not) and went up to a DD. A few years later I became ill and lost 50 pounds. And my cup size? Never changed. I have to special order bras online. Such a hassle! Just for the sake of clothing, not even how annoying they are in everyday life. Arg!
    Anyway... yes, handfastings are wonderful :-) There are people who occassionally comment here who are handfasted, I was their priestess at the ceremony. It was lovely :-)


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