I haven't mentioned Bea Arthur dying, aside from the fact that my brother and I joked about it (no worries, we also joke about the Kennedy's dying, because that's how we roll. Cruelly). But honestly, I was kind of sad. Bea Arthur was a pretty cool actress, and she had killer timing. Frankly, I joked about Bea dying because she would have joked about it too. After all, if you can't laugh, what the hell do you have to live for?
Rest in peace Bea. I bet you're making them laugh wherever you went.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Go Spector
Wow. Good for you. You are a strange little man, but as I have agreed with over half of what you've said, you are the only Republican I have ever voted for. Next time I get to vote a straight Democratic ticket. Huzzah!
Seriously though, you are kind of strange. That cancer did you no favors.
Seriously though, you are kind of strange. That cancer did you no favors.
Because I don't say this often enough
I just want to mention again how much I love Wil Wheaton. I love getting to work and seeing he has a new post up, it's a really good start to the day.
What's that? You're not reading his blog?
For goodness sake, head over to the blog roll and make with the clicky! You'll be glad you did.
What's that? You're not reading his blog?
For goodness sake, head over to the blog roll and make with the clicky! You'll be glad you did.
Tuesday Randomness
Allergy season sucks to begin with. During a pandemic? Yeah, let's talk about how crazy people can get. Especially if you have Fibro with allergies, which means that, like me, you are achy, tired, have trouble breathing, run fevers, and in general are flu-like. Heh.
I've been watching Lost from the second season on, and something struck me about Ben. He doesn't change. As a character, he literally never changes. The others change. Ben's motives become more clear as we learn more of his back story, but he never changes. In terms of writing that was a good choice for your villian, because if he's perfect from the get-go, dear god don't mess with him. Jack, also has not changed, he's a massive tool through the whole series.
It has been irritating me recently that fundies use the "creation proves the creator" argument to try to prove God. Come on now. The world is wonderous, but it's not proof of any god. It's proof of science.
I've been watching Lost from the second season on, and something struck me about Ben. He doesn't change. As a character, he literally never changes. The others change. Ben's motives become more clear as we learn more of his back story, but he never changes. In terms of writing that was a good choice for your villian, because if he's perfect from the get-go, dear god don't mess with him. Jack, also has not changed, he's a massive tool through the whole series.
It has been irritating me recently that fundies use the "creation proves the creator" argument to try to prove God. Come on now. The world is wonderous, but it's not proof of any god. It's proof of science.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Swine Flu!
I love my mother, but sometimes because of her my brother and I don't take things seriously. Such as swine flu. We both agree, it is terrible. People are dying. That is bad.
However, because of our mother, and how very seriously she takes these things, my brother and I have taken to joking around about it. Bea Arthur? Killed by swine flu. Swine flu is going to come and kill us all. We're simply all going to die. Then we start to laugh after doing a lot of "da da duuuuummmmm"s.
We're not bad people, honestly. And we know this isn't funny, but damn. There is literally nothing we can do about a pandemic. We can try to make sure we won't get it. Everything else is out of our hands, so we might as well laugh.
However, because of our mother, and how very seriously she takes these things, my brother and I have taken to joking around about it. Bea Arthur? Killed by swine flu. Swine flu is going to come and kill us all. We're simply all going to die. Then we start to laugh after doing a lot of "da da duuuuummmmm"s.
We're not bad people, honestly. And we know this isn't funny, but damn. There is literally nothing we can do about a pandemic. We can try to make sure we won't get it. Everything else is out of our hands, so we might as well laugh.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Why are atheists better at marriage?
Many months ago, Personal Failure linked to a study of divorce rates in the US, divided by religion, region, etc. One of the more interesting things in it was that atheists divorce rates were lower than any other religion/philosophy.
Atheists are just better at being married.
And so I started wondering why. Does it have something to do with the fact that they are free of a lot of the various crap that goes along with a religion? They don't worry about a god, or hell, and can live each day without worrying about something eternal, lurking around the corner, waiting for you to screw up.
The atheists I know are really nice. They are happy, well adjusted, smart people. As a rule they are happier than a lot of people I know. And I honestly wonder if this generally happier outlook on life is what makes their marriages better. And I'm also interested in if other aspects of their lives are more positive. And if you find a general uptick in their lives, they are happier and more content as a whole, how much of that is from their basic personality, and how much is from their own belief in the universe as a whole?
Personally I'm fascinated by this subject. Atheists are generally welcomed into most pagan communities (one of the larger boards The Cauldron, is moderated by an atheist. We accept everyone. That could probably be the motto of paganism as a whole), so it's not like they are new an unusual. However in the context of pagans they are just that, not unusual. They share a lot of the same political and moral views, are just as happy, and that is probably why I never thought about how different they are from the "Big Three" religions. When someone is just like you, you don't think about how they are different from others.
Atheism is just amazing to me (and daunting, I tried to think about how I would explain death to the kiddo from a "and that's it" standpoint and was completely flumoxed). I think most religious people need to think a bit more about the other side, about where these people are coming from. It certainly couldn't hurt.
Atheists are just better at being married.
And so I started wondering why. Does it have something to do with the fact that they are free of a lot of the various crap that goes along with a religion? They don't worry about a god, or hell, and can live each day without worrying about something eternal, lurking around the corner, waiting for you to screw up.
The atheists I know are really nice. They are happy, well adjusted, smart people. As a rule they are happier than a lot of people I know. And I honestly wonder if this generally happier outlook on life is what makes their marriages better. And I'm also interested in if other aspects of their lives are more positive. And if you find a general uptick in their lives, they are happier and more content as a whole, how much of that is from their basic personality, and how much is from their own belief in the universe as a whole?
Personally I'm fascinated by this subject. Atheists are generally welcomed into most pagan communities (one of the larger boards The Cauldron, is moderated by an atheist. We accept everyone. That could probably be the motto of paganism as a whole), so it's not like they are new an unusual. However in the context of pagans they are just that, not unusual. They share a lot of the same political and moral views, are just as happy, and that is probably why I never thought about how different they are from the "Big Three" religions. When someone is just like you, you don't think about how they are different from others.
Atheism is just amazing to me (and daunting, I tried to think about how I would explain death to the kiddo from a "and that's it" standpoint and was completely flumoxed). I think most religious people need to think a bit more about the other side, about where these people are coming from. It certainly couldn't hurt.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
What do I pray for?
Well, sometimes I pray for my brain-mouth filter to be fully engaged. Sometimes I just pray to shut my mouth.
Oh Oprah....
So, why are women leaving men for other women?
I actually want to put a sigh in here, because my first reaction was to look at the byline to see if this was written by a man (it wasn't).
The article itself wasn't all that bad, I've seen much worse regarding women's sexuality and it's fluidity. After all, where men tend to be gay or straight, some women do go back and forth (I am one of those women, God help me). One of the interesting things they mention is that women like me fall in love with a person, not a gender.
That's interesting because it mentions something that I know I have a hard time explaining. I have friends who fall in love with men (or women). And they fall in love with their respective parts and actions, but the basic sex is always playing a role in how they view the prospective partner.
I tend to be more attracted to what a person is like, the physical stuff goes along with that, but if I don't like who you are, it just won't last. Interestingly the study referenced in this piece mentions that a women who feels a connection with a person of the same sex will be more likely to move on it, even if she was heterosexual. And she can go back. This seems to be coming dangerously close to saying that most women are or can be bisexual (of course some women are firmly hetero or homosexual but the possiblity is there). One of the other points made is just how threatening this can be to people who are concerned with "traditional" sexuality. Which is a nice was of saying fundies I suppose.
However, it is nice seeing this subjected treated in something like a respectful manner.
I actually want to put a sigh in here, because my first reaction was to look at the byline to see if this was written by a man (it wasn't).
The article itself wasn't all that bad, I've seen much worse regarding women's sexuality and it's fluidity. After all, where men tend to be gay or straight, some women do go back and forth (I am one of those women, God help me). One of the interesting things they mention is that women like me fall in love with a person, not a gender.
That's interesting because it mentions something that I know I have a hard time explaining. I have friends who fall in love with men (or women). And they fall in love with their respective parts and actions, but the basic sex is always playing a role in how they view the prospective partner.
I tend to be more attracted to what a person is like, the physical stuff goes along with that, but if I don't like who you are, it just won't last. Interestingly the study referenced in this piece mentions that a women who feels a connection with a person of the same sex will be more likely to move on it, even if she was heterosexual. And she can go back. This seems to be coming dangerously close to saying that most women are or can be bisexual (of course some women are firmly hetero or homosexual but the possiblity is there). One of the other points made is just how threatening this can be to people who are concerned with "traditional" sexuality. Which is a nice was of saying fundies I suppose.
However, it is nice seeing this subjected treated in something like a respectful manner.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
What me, worry? Hell yes
This Saturday the kid is supposed to go to her father's for her first overnight visit. As of today, three days before the visit, he still has no room for her. No bed for her. His live-in girlfriend has not even vacated the room the kid is supposed to have*. He has no gates so she doesn't fall down the stairs. In fact, aside from a lamp and some sheets, I don't know what he does have.
Needless to say, under the best of circumstances, I would be freaking out. Right now I am slowly reaching Threat Level Red and may have a stroke by Friday night. So if the blogging is a bit sporadic, sorry about that folks. Being a mom comes before bitching about religion, Sarah Palin, and Lost.
*Yes, you read that right.
Needless to say, under the best of circumstances, I would be freaking out. Right now I am slowly reaching Threat Level Red and may have a stroke by Friday night. So if the blogging is a bit sporadic, sorry about that folks. Being a mom comes before bitching about religion, Sarah Palin, and Lost.
*Yes, you read that right.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Keep your religion our of my faith
As a rule, I could give a crap what you believe. You believe in Sky-daddy and Zombie Jesus? Awesome. Jeebus? Fanatastic. The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Lovely. Good for you.
I don't. Obviously. If I believed in any of those things the blog name would be different.
I don't go around in my real life proclaiming what I believe. You'll find most people who have unpopular viewpoints tend not to, what with the crazy factor, you never know if the person you're talking to is a religious nut. Which will not be a good thing if they find out what you believe. However, if I were to start pointing out what I believe you'd better believe I would be accused of all manner of things, starting with harrassment and going on from there.
I will talk about my religion, if I know you, and you ask me. Directly. As a rule I don't believe that in real life religion has anything to do with anything in a social context. These days religion isn't the same things it was before. We have science to explain things now, we have a global community to replace the church community, and these have pushed religion into a more personal space. And that's good. That's where it should be.
Your conversation with your god should be private. That's where it does the most good. I wonder sometimes what on earth some Christian think the Bible is talking about when it talks about the still small voice?
Now, what if your God is insisting that you need to tell EVERYONE about him? Well, here is where you go back to that voice and listen. Is it really asking you to tell everyone? Or is that someone outside of your conversation, your private space with your god? That person outside of your private faith shouldn't be telling you what to do with your faith. And that's where we always seem to run into problems.
I've talked here about how everyone has to find their own path, their own god, or their own self and not need a god. So for one thing, trying to force your god on someone may not even do them any good. For another it is irritating, especially if someone has an established relationship with a faith (and highly irritating if you are bugging someone who already believes in your God. Just saying).
The global community has made us all closer, and has brought all our faiths to light. Everyone knows about other religions, or at least can find them in the internet easily, so there is no need to tell everyone. Now religion is being transformed into faith, and personally I love it. It creates a more personal relationship with your god, and you get to stop bugging your friends about your religion. It's a win-win.
As a footnote, most people don't really get that I feel very strongly about my faith. However, I have never felt that gives me the OK to go around and piss off other people by telling them that they should feel strongly about my faith too. That is insane, and quite insulting. I talk to my Gods on a regular basis, I would never presume that you would feel as comfortable with them as I do. That's what bugs me about Christian evangelicals, they presume that I would feel as comfortable with their god as I do with my own. And that is not right.
I don't. Obviously. If I believed in any of those things the blog name would be different.
I don't go around in my real life proclaiming what I believe. You'll find most people who have unpopular viewpoints tend not to, what with the crazy factor, you never know if the person you're talking to is a religious nut. Which will not be a good thing if they find out what you believe. However, if I were to start pointing out what I believe you'd better believe I would be accused of all manner of things, starting with harrassment and going on from there.
I will talk about my religion, if I know you, and you ask me. Directly. As a rule I don't believe that in real life religion has anything to do with anything in a social context. These days religion isn't the same things it was before. We have science to explain things now, we have a global community to replace the church community, and these have pushed religion into a more personal space. And that's good. That's where it should be.
Your conversation with your god should be private. That's where it does the most good. I wonder sometimes what on earth some Christian think the Bible is talking about when it talks about the still small voice?
Now, what if your God is insisting that you need to tell EVERYONE about him? Well, here is where you go back to that voice and listen. Is it really asking you to tell everyone? Or is that someone outside of your conversation, your private space with your god? That person outside of your private faith shouldn't be telling you what to do with your faith. And that's where we always seem to run into problems.
I've talked here about how everyone has to find their own path, their own god, or their own self and not need a god. So for one thing, trying to force your god on someone may not even do them any good. For another it is irritating, especially if someone has an established relationship with a faith (and highly irritating if you are bugging someone who already believes in your God. Just saying).
The global community has made us all closer, and has brought all our faiths to light. Everyone knows about other religions, or at least can find them in the internet easily, so there is no need to tell everyone. Now religion is being transformed into faith, and personally I love it. It creates a more personal relationship with your god, and you get to stop bugging your friends about your religion. It's a win-win.
As a footnote, most people don't really get that I feel very strongly about my faith. However, I have never felt that gives me the OK to go around and piss off other people by telling them that they should feel strongly about my faith too. That is insane, and quite insulting. I talk to my Gods on a regular basis, I would never presume that you would feel as comfortable with them as I do. That's what bugs me about Christian evangelicals, they presume that I would feel as comfortable with their god as I do with my own. And that is not right.
Monday, April 20, 2009
What's in the past
This June will make the 6th anniversery of when I left my husband. My friends came to my house while he was at work, and packed up me and the cat, and we left when he came home early.
It's taken 6 years for me to be able to throw out his stuff that I have (most of which I ended up taking by accident), or even to be able to think about him without cringing. We were together for 7 years before that, and had been married for three of them when I left. The marriage was when things fell apart.
He was pretty much constantly emotionally abusive. Personal Failure mentions in a recent blog post about how when you are abused constantly you become desensitised to it, which may end up explaining why I put up with the kid's father, the rebound guy from the ex husband, for so long. In his own way he was no better and at times just as manipulative, but since he wasn't actually worse, it wasn't that bad.
And the funny thing about being emotionally abused is that you never really realize that you are being abused, because you aren't physically hit. And that is what abuse is, being hit. And yeah yeah yeah, we all know words can hurt, but come on! What does it matter when you're hubby is being cute and calls all the time? And boy isn't he over-protective sometimes, but he hasn't met these friends before. And sure he throws temper tantrums when you don't pay attention to him. All your attention. And so on. You get the picture.
Six years for me to be able to look back at some of that and honestly say, I was not to blame. It's hard, but there you go. We both had our moments (for instance, after being accused for years of sleeping with every man I know, I finally did have an affair, which was not my best moment). But I can now say I wasn't the broken thing in our relationship. I may have become broken, but going in I wasn't the biggest problem.
The past is the past, but it can still be a bitch.
It's taken 6 years for me to be able to throw out his stuff that I have (most of which I ended up taking by accident), or even to be able to think about him without cringing. We were together for 7 years before that, and had been married for three of them when I left. The marriage was when things fell apart.
He was pretty much constantly emotionally abusive. Personal Failure mentions in a recent blog post about how when you are abused constantly you become desensitised to it, which may end up explaining why I put up with the kid's father, the rebound guy from the ex husband, for so long. In his own way he was no better and at times just as manipulative, but since he wasn't actually worse, it wasn't that bad.
And the funny thing about being emotionally abused is that you never really realize that you are being abused, because you aren't physically hit. And that is what abuse is, being hit. And yeah yeah yeah, we all know words can hurt, but come on! What does it matter when you're hubby is being cute and calls all the time? And boy isn't he over-protective sometimes, but he hasn't met these friends before. And sure he throws temper tantrums when you don't pay attention to him. All your attention. And so on. You get the picture.
Six years for me to be able to look back at some of that and honestly say, I was not to blame. It's hard, but there you go. We both had our moments (for instance, after being accused for years of sleeping with every man I know, I finally did have an affair, which was not my best moment). But I can now say I wasn't the broken thing in our relationship. I may have become broken, but going in I wasn't the biggest problem.
The past is the past, but it can still be a bitch.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Feeding the trolls
All day now I've been following the troll bashing on Slactivist's thread: Scenes from a Tea Party (look at the blog roll people). I love it when trolls show up on Fred's blog, mainly because they don't stand a chance. I initally thought there were two trolls, but one was just an antagonistic guy who didn't frame his argument well. Challenger Grim, on the other hand, troll all the way. Which is awesome. Because if there is one place where trolls shouldn't go, it is the most diverse place I have found on the internet (aside from The Cauldron). Because there is always someone there who can take you down.
From Comhradh
Who was kind enough to let me know about the newest Beck insanity.
"OK, I've heard some new insanity from Beck, and while I stand by my assertion that Hannity is a psychopath, I must admit that Glenn Beck is certainly making a case for having a judge commit him to a psych ward.
Because he's afraid of *dimes.*
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yacomink/glenn-beck-is-afraid-of-dimes/fascist_dime_are_not_fascist
The whole 3 minutes are just pants-on-head crazy, but around the 2:30 mark, he breaks out this mouth-frothing lunacy that we've been tra-la-la-ing down the road to fascism since a fasces appeared on the back of the dime that was minted when *Woodrow Wilson* was president - almost a decade before Mussolini introduced fascism to the world - but hey, look over there! EVIL DEMOCRATS!"
Thank you Comhradh*!
*You know, I have no idea why I am having such a hard time typing that this morning. This doesn't bode well for my upcoming goal of teaching myself Gaelic.
"OK, I've heard some new insanity from Beck, and while I stand by my assertion that Hannity is a psychopath, I must admit that Glenn Beck is certainly making a case for having a judge commit him to a psych ward.
Because he's afraid of *dimes.*
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yacomink/glenn-beck-is-afraid-of-dimes/fascist_dime_are_not_fascist
The whole 3 minutes are just pants-on-head crazy, but around the 2:30 mark, he breaks out this mouth-frothing lunacy that we've been tra-la-la-ing down the road to fascism since a fasces appeared on the back of the dime that was minted when *Woodrow Wilson* was president - almost a decade before Mussolini introduced fascism to the world - but hey, look over there! EVIL DEMOCRATS!"
Thank you Comhradh*!
*You know, I have no idea why I am having such a hard time typing that this morning. This doesn't bode well for my upcoming goal of teaching myself Gaelic.
Lost blogging
OK, what was the supposed "shocking revolation" from last night's show? Both big reveals were stuff we already knew, we knew they were building the hatch, and we knew who Miles' dad was. I don't get it. Unless it was Faraday? I guess? Meh, who knows.
That said, good episode. I like Miles, and I liked seeing a lot of him. He's a bit more angsty than snarky now, but that's still OK, the guy can talk to the dead. Angst goes with that. I also like him with Hurley, and I haven't been as in love with Hurley this season. Though last night's ep did remind me why I did love him.
Kate? Hi! Sawyer's right, where is your head? Retarded woman. Good job screwing up his life with Juliet!
And what on earth does lie in the shadow of the statue? I want to know!
That said, good episode. I like Miles, and I liked seeing a lot of him. He's a bit more angsty than snarky now, but that's still OK, the guy can talk to the dead. Angst goes with that. I also like him with Hurley, and I haven't been as in love with Hurley this season. Though last night's ep did remind me why I did love him.
Kate? Hi! Sawyer's right, where is your head? Retarded woman. Good job screwing up his life with Juliet!
And what on earth does lie in the shadow of the statue? I want to know!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Rand
Can someone explain to me the obsession the Right has with Atlas Shrugged? I hate that book*, it is, in my humble opinion, immature. That's probably the best word I could use to describe it. The whole concept, of the intellectuals "Going Galt" is almost insulting, since it depects aconcept of self interest that most intellectuals don't have (some are just that self centered, but most would realize that isolating themselves from society would do no good in the long run). And what is it that the Right is identifying with? They keep talking about how people will be "Going Galt", are they saying they are like the intellectuals? They hate intellectuals. Do they want intellectuals to leave? How will that help them? They will be creating a society based on industry with no chance of any progression. That's just dumb.
I really don't get this whole thing, so if anyone could explain it to me that would be great.
*I'm going to admit that my hatred of the book may be why I can't understand why anyone would like it so much.
I really don't get this whole thing, so if anyone could explain it to me that would be great.
*I'm going to admit that my hatred of the book may be why I can't understand why anyone would like it so much.
Well there you go
I don't think this is what the teabaggers wanted to happen, or how they wanted to be viewed. I'm interested to see what the nightly news shows about the clearing of Lafayette Park and the permit issue, assuming they show anything. This was supposed to be one of the larger protests.
I'm thinking that this might not turn out the way they wanted.
I'm thinking that this might not turn out the way they wanted.
Sure it is...
It's all the weather's fault that more people aren't showing up to your insane teabagging parties (kinky!)
Sure it is.
Sure it is.
What you may not be watching
On TV. Tonight is "Better off Ted", which is quirky and funny and probably getting canceled soon, so catch a peak while you still can.
On Tuesdays is "Deadliest Catch". If my office is any indication not all of you may be watching this nail biter on the Discovery Channel. Last season was very good, and this season looks to be just as good. I'm always happy to spend Tuesday night with the Hansen brothers and thank my lucky stars I don't have to work with them.
If you like baking cakes you might not be watching the "Food Network Challenge" series "Last Cake Standing". A mix of Survior and standard competition that is a bit of a departure from their usual food porn (I like making cakes and so I LOVE this series, and have favorites among the chefs because I know their work).
On Tuesdays is "Deadliest Catch". If my office is any indication not all of you may be watching this nail biter on the Discovery Channel. Last season was very good, and this season looks to be just as good. I'm always happy to spend Tuesday night with the Hansen brothers and thank my lucky stars I don't have to work with them.
If you like baking cakes you might not be watching the "Food Network Challenge" series "Last Cake Standing". A mix of Survior and standard competition that is a bit of a departure from their usual food porn (I like making cakes and so I LOVE this series, and have favorites among the chefs because I know their work).
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I may die tomorrow
Of a terminal case of the giggles. Especially if people start talking about how people are "teabagging all over the country".
There is only so much I can take, people.
But I will die happy.
There is only so much I can take, people.
But I will die happy.
NASA
From CNN:The image, taken by NASA's space-based Chandra Observatory telescope, shows an X-ray nebula 150 light years across.
I love space photo's (I may have mentioned before I'm a geek), and this one was just so cool. Thanks to CNN, where I found this one.
Glen Beck is a crazy person
He really is. I'm not sure if he really believes what he says every day on his crazy tv show, but even if he doesn't he's still crazy. And because he's crazy, and because he's saying some seriously messed up stuff, he's egging on the lunatic fringe of this country into killing people. People in that fringe see their paranoid ideas on a major news network and they feel that they are validated, that everything they believe is true, and then they act on what they are hearing. And that is why this year more people have died of violent attacks here in the US than have died in Iraq.
The fact that Beck is saying that he isn't responsible for this new and interesting turn of events is insane in and of itself. Since he started really going batshit on air there has been rise in violence. Blame it on Obama, on the economy, on lots of things, but at some point Fox News is going to have to also blame themselves. They have allowed a crazy man to talk about crazy things on air. And when they saw that he was starting to break down, and they saw the effect he was having on people, they allowed him to stay on air. They chose ratings over common sense, and they are just as responsible as anyone else in this. No, they didn't hand the crazy people a gun, but they did tell the crazy people that Obama will take their guns, so they need to buy them quickly and then shoot the people coming to get them. Tell me, how that is really any different?
The fact that Beck is saying that he isn't responsible for this new and interesting turn of events is insane in and of itself. Since he started really going batshit on air there has been rise in violence. Blame it on Obama, on the economy, on lots of things, but at some point Fox News is going to have to also blame themselves. They have allowed a crazy man to talk about crazy things on air. And when they saw that he was starting to break down, and they saw the effect he was having on people, they allowed him to stay on air. They chose ratings over common sense, and they are just as responsible as anyone else in this. No, they didn't hand the crazy people a gun, but they did tell the crazy people that Obama will take their guns, so they need to buy them quickly and then shoot the people coming to get them. Tell me, how that is really any different?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Rape isn't funny
You'd think at some level that would go without saying. However there is a lot of outrage over the new movie "Observe and Report" and it's date rape scene. Feministing has addressed it twice now, the first time regarding the scene itself and the second time regarding the backlash.
Of course there are a few things wrong with this. Part of it is the idea of a date rape scene in a comedy, and part of it is the fact that a lot of the backlash is centering on insulting the women mad at it.
It's the typical response to something like this, that women who are mad about this kind of thing are ugly bitches, angry man hating feminists, or so ugly that being raped would be a compliment (my personal fav, usually delivered by a 250 lb man who lives with his mommy).
What really worries me is that most of the people making the comments above don't understand the argument at all. They are yelling about how feminists don't have a sense of humor, instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, the fact that a date rape scene is being played as funny is wrong.
Rape is already viewed as almost a joke in the US, a "she deserved it" kind of thing that places little responsibility on the man who does the assault (one of the arguments for why the scene was funny is because the female character deserved to be raped because she passed out in the presense of this man. That is an argument tailored to piss off most women). The idea that a rape is being shown in a comedic light is pretty awful, because it re-enforces what these men already think, rape is funny.
Women are threatened with rape, women are raped, and it happens all the time. These men can laugh it off, but for women it's real. It's a problem that people don't address people the woman raped deserved it and the man just couldn't control it. And as long as that goes on, date rape in comedies isn't funny. No matter how dark the comedy, it shouldn't be handled as funny.
Of course there are a few things wrong with this. Part of it is the idea of a date rape scene in a comedy, and part of it is the fact that a lot of the backlash is centering on insulting the women mad at it.
It's the typical response to something like this, that women who are mad about this kind of thing are ugly bitches, angry man hating feminists, or so ugly that being raped would be a compliment (my personal fav, usually delivered by a 250 lb man who lives with his mommy).
What really worries me is that most of the people making the comments above don't understand the argument at all. They are yelling about how feminists don't have a sense of humor, instead of realizing that maybe, just maybe, the fact that a date rape scene is being played as funny is wrong.
Rape is already viewed as almost a joke in the US, a "she deserved it" kind of thing that places little responsibility on the man who does the assault (one of the arguments for why the scene was funny is because the female character deserved to be raped because she passed out in the presense of this man. That is an argument tailored to piss off most women). The idea that a rape is being shown in a comedic light is pretty awful, because it re-enforces what these men already think, rape is funny.
Women are threatened with rape, women are raped, and it happens all the time. These men can laugh it off, but for women it's real. It's a problem that people don't address people the woman raped deserved it and the man just couldn't control it. And as long as that goes on, date rape in comedies isn't funny. No matter how dark the comedy, it shouldn't be handled as funny.
Happy Chocolate Bunny Day!
Hope everyone had a Happy Chocolate Bunny Day! I know Lil had a good one. A sugar crash on a four year old is wonderous and amazing.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Unrelated to Lost...
I really hate it when these "traditional marriage" folks refer to gay marriage as "neutering" marriage. Do they know what that means? Because as far as I know no one is coming close to suggesting that we need to neuter anything. Or spay. Come on now people, use your dictionaries!!
Lost blogging
I'm going to make this quicker than usual, because I plan on watching it again this weekend.
First off, I have to say the Ben/Alex storyline has always killed me. I completely understand wanting to kill in revenge for killing your child. So last night really killed me.
What also killed me was his hair. WTF Ben? Actually, WTF hair and makeup? What did Michael Emerson do to you? That kept snapping me back out of the show and I HATE that.
Anyway, the temple looks terribly Egyptian to me, and the picture of Anubus and the smoke moster was cool.
What the hell is going on with the timeline? I need to go to the wiki again and figure that out.
And who keeps putting Richard in jewel tone shirts when the others are in earth tones? Not the best jungle camo. Boy stands out. And he did wear earth tones. And have nasty hair and a three day beard, what happened to that? He got over it?
I am so confused.
First off, I have to say the Ben/Alex storyline has always killed me. I completely understand wanting to kill in revenge for killing your child. So last night really killed me.
What also killed me was his hair. WTF Ben? Actually, WTF hair and makeup? What did Michael Emerson do to you? That kept snapping me back out of the show and I HATE that.
Anyway, the temple looks terribly Egyptian to me, and the picture of Anubus and the smoke moster was cool.
What the hell is going on with the timeline? I need to go to the wiki again and figure that out.
And who keeps putting Richard in jewel tone shirts when the others are in earth tones? Not the best jungle camo. Boy stands out. And he did wear earth tones. And have nasty hair and a three day beard, what happened to that? He got over it?
I am so confused.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Self reliance gone too far?
One of the things that struck me about the Quiverfull/fundie marriage lifestyle is the constant harping on the family being self reliant. They are encouraged to isolate themselves, to not talk to people outside of the church, to be their own community.
Anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship knows that this is one of the first steps to the escalation of abuse. If you are isolated completely, sometimes unable to even go to a store on your own, you have no one to turn to when things go wrong.
So, what part of this is a good idea?? Why do people keep glorifying this lifestyle? Is it because it was created solely to stroke a man's ego? An entire porn religion and lifestyle all wrapped up in a christian wrapping paper.
These people are sick.
Anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship knows that this is one of the first steps to the escalation of abuse. If you are isolated completely, sometimes unable to even go to a store on your own, you have no one to turn to when things go wrong.
So, what part of this is a good idea?? Why do people keep glorifying this lifestyle? Is it because it was created solely to stroke a man's ego? An entire porn religion and lifestyle all wrapped up in a christian wrapping paper.
These people are sick.
Wendsday randomness
I recently introduced my brother to LOL cats. When I told him that there is a version of the Bible translated into LOL cat he told me that he wasn't suprised. He is becoming pretty good at speaking LOL and now uses "nom" in sentences. Hee!
The kid has apparently been telling everyone that she doesn't want fat boobs like mine. Thanks!
I've been listening to a lot of Buddy Holly recently. I do so love him. It really is a shame he died so young, there was something really special there.
I watched Spiderman 3 this weekend and was seriously unimpressed. I'm glad I didn't pay for it, because Iwould have wanted my money back. It was a good drama, not an action movie. If I hadn't been expecting a super hero action movie I would have been fine with it. Until they killed off Harry. That would have pissed me off regardless.
The kid has apparently been telling everyone that she doesn't want fat boobs like mine. Thanks!
I've been listening to a lot of Buddy Holly recently. I do so love him. It really is a shame he died so young, there was something really special there.
I watched Spiderman 3 this weekend and was seriously unimpressed. I'm glad I didn't pay for it, because Iwould have wanted my money back. It was a good drama, not an action movie. If I hadn't been expecting a super hero action movie I would have been fine with it. Until they killed off Harry. That would have pissed me off regardless.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Dear Fundie
Dear Fundie…
Hi there! Come in. Sit down. I have coffee, and a bunch of teas. Since I’m a baker and my brother is a chef we have lots of good food. Want some? Are you comfortable? Good.
So, you’re here to convert me, yes? And apparently not like my stalker Mormon buddies. But then I suppose my stalker Mormon buddies get a kick out a pagan that has The Book of Mormon and that’s why they are nice. That, and that whole quota of souls thing.
I have your book too. I have the King James version, and the NIV, and some version with really big lettering, which is bizarre, but it was free. I’ve read them, too. See, one thing most of us pagans have in common is a calling to study. Everything. At great length. Especially religion. After all, if we’re going to decide, we’d rather know what the other side has to say.
So let’s meet each other as religious people. You and I are more alike that you think. I also worship a warlord god that sacrificed himself (mine did so for further knowledge. I bet that studying thing makes more sense now, doesn’t it?). I also worship a virgin. She’s a huntress, Artemis. So not a whole lot like Mary, but there is some similarity there. A starting point.
If I am strong, I get to go someplace special too. Valhalla, where I get to hang out and drink and fight until the last battle (yep, we have one of those too) when I go and fight with my God. Of course we all die, so you have us on that one. But we die a good death, which is all a warrior needs.
I pray, every day. Odin is really big on telling the truth, so each day I ask him to help me watch my mouth. If nothing else it reminds me to watch my mouth. I talk to him, all the time. And yes, he answers.
I know that you think he’s a devil. At times I would be hard pressed to disagree with you, he’s a hard god, but all of them are in the end. That’s what faith is about isn’t it? But he certainly seems to want me to be the best person I can be, especially by helping people.
And that’s where we differ. My god requires me to serve people. My goddess does too. Both require that I put myself into the community and serve those lesser than myself. Because if I have it, I should give it. That’s just how it goes. Your god says that too, you know. He also requires that you not be all loud and obnoxious about your faith. My gods don’t really care if I am or not, but you have handily made it impossible for me to tell people in real life that I am pagan.
And it’s not just me you’re doing it to. You do it to Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindi, and on and on. That isn’t really a great way to help your community.
If I may offer some advice, one religious person to another. Step back. Go back home and find some still place. And listen. Just listen. You know, for that still small voice. And hear it. Hear it well. Whether it’s god or just your own self, I doubt very much it is OK with how you act. Now is a good time to take a look at your behavior and reevaluate. Just calm down.
Come back any time, all are welcome here.
Hi there! Come in. Sit down. I have coffee, and a bunch of teas. Since I’m a baker and my brother is a chef we have lots of good food. Want some? Are you comfortable? Good.
So, you’re here to convert me, yes? And apparently not like my stalker Mormon buddies. But then I suppose my stalker Mormon buddies get a kick out a pagan that has The Book of Mormon and that’s why they are nice. That, and that whole quota of souls thing.
I have your book too. I have the King James version, and the NIV, and some version with really big lettering, which is bizarre, but it was free. I’ve read them, too. See, one thing most of us pagans have in common is a calling to study. Everything. At great length. Especially religion. After all, if we’re going to decide, we’d rather know what the other side has to say.
So let’s meet each other as religious people. You and I are more alike that you think. I also worship a warlord god that sacrificed himself (mine did so for further knowledge. I bet that studying thing makes more sense now, doesn’t it?). I also worship a virgin. She’s a huntress, Artemis. So not a whole lot like Mary, but there is some similarity there. A starting point.
If I am strong, I get to go someplace special too. Valhalla, where I get to hang out and drink and fight until the last battle (yep, we have one of those too) when I go and fight with my God. Of course we all die, so you have us on that one. But we die a good death, which is all a warrior needs.
I pray, every day. Odin is really big on telling the truth, so each day I ask him to help me watch my mouth. If nothing else it reminds me to watch my mouth. I talk to him, all the time. And yes, he answers.
I know that you think he’s a devil. At times I would be hard pressed to disagree with you, he’s a hard god, but all of them are in the end. That’s what faith is about isn’t it? But he certainly seems to want me to be the best person I can be, especially by helping people.
And that’s where we differ. My god requires me to serve people. My goddess does too. Both require that I put myself into the community and serve those lesser than myself. Because if I have it, I should give it. That’s just how it goes. Your god says that too, you know. He also requires that you not be all loud and obnoxious about your faith. My gods don’t really care if I am or not, but you have handily made it impossible for me to tell people in real life that I am pagan.
And it’s not just me you’re doing it to. You do it to Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindi, and on and on. That isn’t really a great way to help your community.
If I may offer some advice, one religious person to another. Step back. Go back home and find some still place. And listen. Just listen. You know, for that still small voice. And hear it. Hear it well. Whether it’s god or just your own self, I doubt very much it is OK with how you act. Now is a good time to take a look at your behavior and reevaluate. Just calm down.
Come back any time, all are welcome here.
The myth of virginity
The transition from Quiverfull to The Purity Myth was really easy, since the last chapter in Quiverfull was about the daughters of this movement and touches upon what The Purity Myth is about, the sexualization of young women and reducing them to their hymen.
This is something near and dear to me, as I have a daughter. I have to undo a lot of what other people tell her about herself, and help her grow into an adult with a healthy attitude about her body and sex in general.
The kid knows the basics of her body, she knows all the parts, and she knows that when she gets older those parts will change and she'll get breasts (she informed me that she doesn't want "fat boobs" like mine, but small ones. I told her that I had no control over that, but I would hope that she didn't get large breasts anyway). In teh next year or so I will teach her the mechanics of sex, then at puberty we'll start with birth control and protection, and having sex when you are ready, and how to enjoy it. If it sounds like a battle plan that's because it is. I'm fighting against the rest of the country who are telling my daughter her only worth is her vagina.
If that seems really disturbing, that's good, because it is. Our daughters are paying a dear price for the sexual obsessions of a few old men.
This is something near and dear to me, as I have a daughter. I have to undo a lot of what other people tell her about herself, and help her grow into an adult with a healthy attitude about her body and sex in general.
The kid knows the basics of her body, she knows all the parts, and she knows that when she gets older those parts will change and she'll get breasts (she informed me that she doesn't want "fat boobs" like mine, but small ones. I told her that I had no control over that, but I would hope that she didn't get large breasts anyway). In teh next year or so I will teach her the mechanics of sex, then at puberty we'll start with birth control and protection, and having sex when you are ready, and how to enjoy it. If it sounds like a battle plan that's because it is. I'm fighting against the rest of the country who are telling my daughter her only worth is her vagina.
If that seems really disturbing, that's good, because it is. Our daughters are paying a dear price for the sexual obsessions of a few old men.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Bowing out
Can I just say how silly it is to see the wingnuts trying to debate protocol regarding Pres. Obama's bow to the Saudi king? These people wouldn't know a salad fork from a regular fork and they are qualified to say what is the correct way to greet a king?
And they are trying to say the guy who had it right is Bush? The man who wanted to throw the Queen of England a BBQ. And who had to be convinced that he had to wear a tux to his state dinner with her.
Jesus Christ!
And they are trying to say the guy who had it right is Bush? The man who wanted to throw the Queen of England a BBQ. And who had to be convinced that he had to wear a tux to his state dinner with her.
Jesus Christ!
Quiverfull Part II
So, I am now almost done Quiverfull, and an interesting point has struck me.
This movement of male domination within churches actually started to draw men back to church. The various Christian evangelical movements needed men in the pews, so they used the Bible to give men what they wanted, an almost porn senario, where your wife can never say no to anything you do and must constantly do anything you say. You have free access to everything, her mind and her body, and you get to control it all.
That kind of domination being offered within these churches will attact a certain kind of man, one who is prone to abusing women. When the women are then abused at home, they are abused by their church, who tells them what their abuser told them, it's all their fault they are being hit/raped/or otherwise injured. It is a circle of abuse that surrounds these women.
Then they have children, and then children are abused. The girls are raised to accept abusive behavior as normal and accepted. The boys are taught that it is expected that they take charge of their families in anyway possible. Instead of just one family doing this though, it is whole churches, and they are raising many many children to perpetuate this system.
The women in this system are dehumanized. They are reduced to a vagina. They are only there to give birth as many times as possible and to submit to their husband.
Interestingly, the language used within these churches is exactly the same as language used is DS/SM porn. It is the same system, just one admits what it is and the other hides behind God. As much as these people want to scream that they are not like the secular world, they have managed to recreate porn quite handily.
Sometimes women do get out of this system, just like sometimes women get out of abusive marriages in general. The difference with the Quiverfull women is that they have no friends. None. Their friend is their husband, it is considered a sin to have any other friends. So she literally does it by herself if she leaves. She will most likely have to leave her children behind. And it is a terrible idea for a mother, even one that is beaten down.
My heart goes out to these women. I actually read the book in small sections, I can't just gulp it down, because it breaks my heart. The interviews with the women part of this movement are awful.
I can not recommend this book enough, just to open your eyes as to how bad this movement has gotten, and what it is doing to thousands of women. Dogs are treated better than they are.
This movement of male domination within churches actually started to draw men back to church. The various Christian evangelical movements needed men in the pews, so they used the Bible to give men what they wanted, an almost porn senario, where your wife can never say no to anything you do and must constantly do anything you say. You have free access to everything, her mind and her body, and you get to control it all.
That kind of domination being offered within these churches will attact a certain kind of man, one who is prone to abusing women. When the women are then abused at home, they are abused by their church, who tells them what their abuser told them, it's all their fault they are being hit/raped/or otherwise injured. It is a circle of abuse that surrounds these women.
Then they have children, and then children are abused. The girls are raised to accept abusive behavior as normal and accepted. The boys are taught that it is expected that they take charge of their families in anyway possible. Instead of just one family doing this though, it is whole churches, and they are raising many many children to perpetuate this system.
The women in this system are dehumanized. They are reduced to a vagina. They are only there to give birth as many times as possible and to submit to their husband.
Interestingly, the language used within these churches is exactly the same as language used is DS/SM porn. It is the same system, just one admits what it is and the other hides behind God. As much as these people want to scream that they are not like the secular world, they have managed to recreate porn quite handily.
Sometimes women do get out of this system, just like sometimes women get out of abusive marriages in general. The difference with the Quiverfull women is that they have no friends. None. Their friend is their husband, it is considered a sin to have any other friends. So she literally does it by herself if she leaves. She will most likely have to leave her children behind. And it is a terrible idea for a mother, even one that is beaten down.
My heart goes out to these women. I actually read the book in small sections, I can't just gulp it down, because it breaks my heart. The interviews with the women part of this movement are awful.
I can not recommend this book enough, just to open your eyes as to how bad this movement has gotten, and what it is doing to thousands of women. Dogs are treated better than they are.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Quiverfull
I started reading Quiverfull last night. So far it's really thought provoking, and kind of disturbing. This isn't just some movement by a bunch of crazy people, this was well thought out, which means it was a well thought out way to abuse women (it really can't be honestly said any other way, these men abuse their wives). It's also terribly disturbing that these women go along with it. There are so many resourses to get women out of abusive marriages, I really think sometimes we need to start some kind of extensive outreach into communities like these.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Funny guys get the babes?
CNN has an article here about why funny guys attract more women. Apparently women believe that funny guys are more intelligent.
I'm going to break something to you. I don't tend to think funny guys are intelligent. I think smart guys are intelligent. Funny guys are funny. Sometimes they overlap, but having one doesn't mean you have the other.
I have a really strange sense of humor, so I probably wouldn't find these guys they had in the study funny anway. I think Ben on Lost is the funniest character on television. (He is! Very dry sarcastic humor. Great stuff.) I also have actual standards for intelligence, which I have found not all women have. I don't want you to just be able to watch Cash Cab and get the occassional answer right. I want to have conversations with you about things like history, art, literature, religion, etc. I will require you to think. If you don't think you will bore me, and that is when the relationship is over, no matter how freaking funny you are (or think you are).
This is a generalization study, and I hate those. It's out there to make men feel better, not provide an actual answer to a very complex question like attraction. This is almost a typical geek dream, that the dorky looking but smart and funny guy gets the really hot babe. Here is a study showing that happens!
Look, guys, I love you geeky dorky guys (see above), but only after you have grown out of the geeky dorky phase. Which means not until you're about 30-35. Until then, no matter how smart you are, or how funny you are, we'll be staying in the "just friends" rotation. After you start to get a hold of yourselves, then you can go ahead and see if this study has legs.
Right now it should be very clear to everyone why I'm single! Hah!
I'm going to break something to you. I don't tend to think funny guys are intelligent. I think smart guys are intelligent. Funny guys are funny. Sometimes they overlap, but having one doesn't mean you have the other.
I have a really strange sense of humor, so I probably wouldn't find these guys they had in the study funny anway. I think Ben on Lost is the funniest character on television. (He is! Very dry sarcastic humor. Great stuff.) I also have actual standards for intelligence, which I have found not all women have. I don't want you to just be able to watch Cash Cab and get the occassional answer right. I want to have conversations with you about things like history, art, literature, religion, etc. I will require you to think. If you don't think you will bore me, and that is when the relationship is over, no matter how freaking funny you are (or think you are).
This is a generalization study, and I hate those. It's out there to make men feel better, not provide an actual answer to a very complex question like attraction. This is almost a typical geek dream, that the dorky looking but smart and funny guy gets the really hot babe. Here is a study showing that happens!
Look, guys, I love you geeky dorky guys (see above), but only after you have grown out of the geeky dorky phase. Which means not until you're about 30-35. Until then, no matter how smart you are, or how funny you are, we'll be staying in the "just friends" rotation. After you start to get a hold of yourselves, then you can go ahead and see if this study has legs.
Right now it should be very clear to everyone why I'm single! Hah!
Lost Blogging
So, it's Kate's fault that Ben is like he is. Why am I not suprised that it is her fault. I did so love how uncomfortable she looked when Richard noticed her and started sizing her up. If they really are going to play him as a god and/or minor diety I suppose anyone would be a smidge uncomfortable when he notices them. I think the whole reason why Ben doesn't remember Sayid is a little too pat, but heck, it's also doable.
Also, is the whole time travel thing really that hard to understand? I got teh feeling like the conversation between Miles and Hurely was very meta, like they were explaining it to us. Dude, it's not that hard to figure out.
And lastly, the look on Ben's face when he saw Locke? Goes to show how awesome an actor Emerson is. That was one hell of a complicated moment, and that was one hell of a good scene, especially considering one of the actors had no lines.
Also, is the whole time travel thing really that hard to understand? I got teh feeling like the conversation between Miles and Hurely was very meta, like they were explaining it to us. Dude, it's not that hard to figure out.
And lastly, the look on Ben's face when he saw Locke? Goes to show how awesome an actor Emerson is. That was one hell of a complicated moment, and that was one hell of a good scene, especially considering one of the actors had no lines.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Random funny
One of my many jobs here at work is to get bills of lading for customers. These are just glorified shipping invoices that let us know what was on a truck when we moved it.
Occasionally they say things that make sense to the shipping industry only. Occasionally they say things that make no sense at all.
Such as the one recently that offered this sound advise:
"Do not hump trailer"
Thanks! Now I know not to!
Occasionally they say things that make sense to the shipping industry only. Occasionally they say things that make no sense at all.
Such as the one recently that offered this sound advise:
"Do not hump trailer"
Thanks! Now I know not to!
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